A Trip Down Memory Lane
Since I have been on this journey of trying to figure out the intersection of doing what brings me joy and doing what gives me a liveable, affordable life I have been reminiscing a lot about the sweet sweet year and a half I spent studying Fine Arts in Indiana. Recently a loved one said something to the affect of, “Oh have you done any art since you did that one class that one time..” and my little fragile heart sank just a little further into the bottomless pit of the hole where my self-confidence should be zinging around. To really kick it in the teeth they asked me if a piece of art I have hanging in my home was my own work. It was not, it was done by a professional artist. I pointed out that mine hung below it and was the piece I had once displayed in a local museum to which they looked at it and replied “Oh yes well that’s nice too.”
CRIES OUT IN TORTURED ARTIST MODE
They were well-intentioned, I appreciate that they remembered I had a loose connection to art at a recent-ish point in time. One thing I have found to be true of myself since living here in America is that I have become smaller and smaller than I have ever been. It hasn’t taken much to bring the part of me that I felt was kinda bright and lead me to diminish that light. I would venture a guess that many of us are feeling that way these days, the general shift away from being and towards consuming has really had a massive part to play in ruining our ability to feel internal peace and a sense of life satisfaction.
Since I have been enjoying trying to remember when I last felt at peace I will keep going with analysing the creative output I had at that time. I believe that when we look at the things we make, and why, we can see external evidence of our mental wellbeing and inner perspective in that work. Which can bolster us in our desire to keep going.
This next project from my 2D design class was about coded contradictions. Since this class I was taking was about learning the language and basic dimensions of art this was an interesting arena to think about the subtler intentions at play.
Visual art often follows unspoken or suggested social codes to give meaning that viewers can interpret without needing a verbal explanation. This means that many visual artists will use or invoke a well known ‘visual language’ to suggest what the imagery is saying without being explicit. For example, sad paintings may often use blues, muted colours and soft lines. For this project we were tasked to create an image that used intentionally contradictory elements or basic principles to subvert the normally understood agreement of meaning exchanged between artist and viewer. My idea was to do a contradiction on the idea of a ‘green thumb’ or a lifegiving gardener. I have a central character who is kind of a Disney-fied green goddess type princess character who is under the illusion that she is sowing life in the land around her. She is on a journey and in her wake is volcanic devastation and a hellscape and ahead of her is all the life and bounty of the land that is fleeing from her self-delusion and murderous black thumb.
Tools used:
Acrylic paints. Once I took painting classes and began to work with oils I never went back to acrylics but I do think they are a great at home paint option that’s safe and cheaper than oils.
Bristol paper
Artist’s tape. I use this to measure out the space I am working within and to have a clean border after being finished painting. It is the most satisfying experience to pull the paint splattered tape up and set a perfect, sharp, crisp line. OOOOH.
In terms of being a technically good piece…this is not that. There are many flaws and irritating messy bits but I enjoyed my execution (heh heh) of the concept. I find for me it reveals a joviality about my expression that lately I have felt I have lost.
The final project I undertook while still distance learning in covid times was one I was very proud of when completed and I thought would be fun to make into a children’s book concept one day. The project was all about exploring wordless narratives. In essence, we were tasked with designing our own graphic novel. It was to be three to five images and could be personal or tell a story about a wider narrative.
I wanted to address my personal experience of loneliness and bullying when I was younger, around high school age. To make it more charming and whimsical I decided to have my characters be woodland creatures. The first panel starts out completely in black and white when the squirrel is experiencing isolation. Over the course of each panel she discovers her creative self and other worlds and realms of imagination through books and her world starts to fill with colour until the story concludes with her creating her own world.
Tools used:
Bristol paper
Micron pens
Watercolour paint
Acrylic paint
I brutalized that hedgehog do NOT look too closely he…got a little weird in the face. The micron pens were unforgiving.
This image is a direct translation of a bullying tactic I experienced not infrequently where a certain kid would pull my schoolbag back as I was walking so I would stumble. To me the owl (even though I love owls) was a great representation of this person.
I used to read in the bathroom and eat my lunch during break. Bullied kids I am sure are more than familiar with this experience.
The final panel is painted in watercolour. I wanted it to feel ethereal, not solid and dreamlike. The bullies are washed out in fading grey banished to the margins.
I find it helpful to look back to things that I have made as evidence of parts of myself that feel so very far away. It reminds me of what it took to get to that place and that I can get there again. Creative acts can feel pointless in the face of a suffering world. Why bother? It doesn’t necessarily do anything or make anything money wise or solve anything or cure anything. Hobbies in general feel like…time wasted? They are not though because what they do well is connect us to our cognitive flow state, a place of peace and satisfaction within our minds and bodies that regulates our stress and anxiety and fills our pleasure bucket. The pleasure of mastering, tinkering, making and learning. This can embolden our sense of worth and value in ourselves and when we feel valuable we can spread goodwill to those around us and that is how we truly affect change.
See y’all next time when we look at some other fun creative things!