Focus pocus…or don’t
By Carissa Potter
Reads
There hasn't been a whole lot of reading going on around here thus far in March. I have had a hard time focusing on much these days how about you? It just seems to be a lot, living in our world right right now. A world we have made and one that is making us. Here are two well written pieces that felt timely when they flew (fell?) into my email inbox. I hope they add some value for you as they did for me.
What You Can Drop Today-Carissa Potter, Bad At Keeping Secrets.
This was a great piece about over scheduling ourselves and the ‘do more’ culture we live in. You know the one, it looks like daily life is only lived if we stay on top of the TO DO list and we try to manage the minutiae of our lives in order to feel a delusional sense of control because there is actually so much that is completely out of our control? Our overzealous craving for order, stability and control ends up controlling us because we can inevitably become burned out if we don’t learn…to be flexible. Someone in the comments referred to the ball juggling act many of us do with all our activities as a ‘clusterfuck’ and I like that. Also I love Carissa Potter as an artist, she feels relatable and real.
I know many of us are struggling with wanting to press PAUSE on all the noise of suffering in the world right now. In particular, the allure of tuning out well just about everything and anything political is absolutely a massive draw but it comes with intense worry about being selfish, ignorant, uninformed and just general feelings of guilt. Is it so bad to want some quietness to the barrage of hardship? If you are like me and trying to find a way to continue feeling compassionate without collapsing under the weight of it all this is a good article for you.
Everything is In-Between by Douglas Rushkoff. This is a longer read, but I promise every bit of it is chewable stuff and worth digesting.
Bants
Got this one from my sister who has a wicked sma’ht sense of humour. The only thing I would have added to this video is pouring ice cubes into the….eh cave of wonders before beginning the exam. Then it is confirmed 100 percent accurate.
Goals?
Eats
So, I have always been on the ‘not so into it’ train for overnight oats. I am a big porridge lover and most importantly I like it hot to trot.
I have an announcement to make however, I have been officially converted or at least I’m setting up my stake in the ground in both campsites. I have perfected the overnight oats in my opinion and find them delicious and most importantly of all my toddler eats them basically all before I can even get a bite in so I consider that a winning dish right there.
Blueberry chia overnight oats
I usually make about 5 jars but the recipe is for one portion.
1/2 cup of oats
1/4 cup of chia seeds
1/2 cup of milk of choice (I like whole milk best)
Pinch of salt
Dash of cinnamon
Combo of fresh berries, Yoghurt, granola, honey or maple syrup to top right before consuming
Add oats, milk, chia seeds, salt and cinnamon to a jar
Seal and store in fridge overnight
Open and stir up to eat the next morning
Aaaaand that’s basically it. I usually have them in the fridge four ti five days not sure how good they would be after that.
Hoping you all have a lovely end of the month now that spring has finally sprung and the hours of sunlight persist a little longer in our days now (the ONLY benefit to daylight savings). As we say back home in the ole country, “sure there’s a grand ole stretch in the evening now to be had.”
Jaysus is it March already?
My dog Atticus is me looking at the calendar like “Did someone say summer?”
We are but mere days out from March. Thank goodness for the short, sweet breath that is February, and Spring is here to us all. I know in the US it’s sometime around the end of the month but one can’t help but look at the awakening of the slumbering natural world around us and ascertain that we are finally shaking off the dusty dirt of our buried winter selves and ready to weakly pull the sunbeams into our shrivelled, pale limbs. Unfortunately, I just saw daylight savings is coming what is this madness yet again? Didn’t that just happen? I am going to need someone to explain it to me again what exactly is happening and will my child stop sleeping again? We did only just recover from the previous saving of the day like two weeks ago so…….In other news, it’s time for another fun weekly roundup of doodads and thingymabobs that piqued my interest. Hopefully it piques yours, or anyone’s really I would give my left pinkie toe for some reader engagement. (That’s the weird toe I’ll have you know)
Reads
In light of the never ending presence of bad news on our everything we consume all the time I stumbled across a story of absurdly hopeful progress that just felt worth drawing attention to.
Parents say son with autism was nonverbal until trying an off-label drug that treats chemo side effects on CBS News.
Oh man I went wild on this story what a lovely and exciting thing to read. Often, here in America, it feels like the medical industry is all about groundbreaking research and cures etc only in ways that mean monetary gain. So all research and development targets new medicines because that way they can patent it and profit off of it in perpetuity. Money is the end goal. I never really thought about all the old medicines that already exist that might be put to use in treating other conditions we had never thought of. What a brilliant idea, one that is a hard sell because since a lot of these older medicines have generic off label versions that work for cheap there is really very little profit to be made. Every Cure is the incredible nonprofit who are using A.I as a powerful tool to scour already existing medications and figure out how they can be used to treat existing diseseas.
Here is another good article I enjoyed, The Stubborn Art of Turning Suffering into Strength: Václav Havel’s Extraordinary Letters from Prison by Maria Popova, The Marginalian. Now I am always careful of being ‘that guy’ who offers a platitude to someone in the face of unreasonable pain. I can’t count how many times I have been told I am resilient for all I have been through and how I can ‘use my pain for a purpose’. I hate it. Yet, this story of Havel is incredible and I think what with all of the unrelenting struggles many of us are going through there is some wisdom to be gained from reading this perspective. Without trying to bypass the shit and the pain of it all, we can find a way to stubbornly refuse to give in.
“The cruel kindness of life is that our sturdiest fulcrum of transformation is the devastation of our hopes and wishes — the losses, the heartbreaks, the diagnoses that shatter the template of the self, leaving us to reconstitute a new way of being from the rubble. ”
Bants
So I am training for an itty bitty long-distance run in April. I have never run this far before and I have a struggle, one of the many I have experienced with this sudden leap in distance moving forward on my feet. I am torn between listening to music and podcasts while running or leaving the earphones out and simply listening to the sounds of sweet nature/my heavy breaths as my lungs break down for hours on end. Listening to something is distracting which is nice but then I can’t regulate said breathing and I sound like a wheezing zombie breathing in the dust of his coffin being buried. So I am stuck trying to figure that out. I did listen to this podcast that was very interesting on my last run and a great one to pass the time. Since I have a daughter human I am really concerned about raising her in a way that allows her to thrive and define her life on her own terms. If I had a son I would still find this information really relevant.
Speaking of my child, welcome to a glimpse into our daily lives with a toddler who has just figured out how to run and jump but not how to stop herself from crashing into the giant Alaskan malamute standing in the centre of the room trying to avoid her.
Ok I realise my content is very toddler-parent heavy this week and I apologise but we are just entering a really funny stage in life with our little and there is so much good humour out there. It helps me too when I am struggling with all the changes to see that others face the same things and have found ways to laugh about it.
Pray for us dear ones.
Eats
Ah my favourite thing fooooood. Just a quick recipe share here today as I honestly have not had the time to do much cooking other than basics to tide us over because I have been just working my little whiskers off. SInce we have had a dash of lovely weather, feels like summa’ over here, this dish is perfect because it’s flavourful, filling and light.
BBQ Salmon Bowls with Mango Avocado Salsa
The mango salsa is divine, no shame at all in buying pre-chopped mango I use canned sweet corn so sue me I guess I don’t care it makes life a billion times easier. Also I never ever do the fresh salmon plank thing a lot of recipes recommend. I use frozen salmon fillets and just defrost them in running water. I am not about that life of the buying fresh (overpriced) fish on the day of. Also, on that money saving train. I got my rice cooker at Aldi for $8. It does one full cup of rice and I love her, the little engine that could. If you see it in Aldi I recommend snapping it up none of this $80 instant pot pressure cooker rice 5 in 1 blah needed. Or you can do the rice the old fashioned way on the stove. Whatever you fancy.
Mid-month slump recommendations
Just to say, I do not get to shower and I do not have friends but I ASPIRE to both those things so it’s ok if that is also you. I am looking at you mamas.
Starting us off right with a sweet little note of some good, daily things that seem inconsequential but can actually fill our tired tanks. I am more tired than I have been in a long time and it’s a dreich tired that seeps into me and feels hard to shake. Dreich is a beautiful Scottish word I came upon recently which means ‘bleak, dull, gloomy, dread’ and is often invoked when describing, well, the weather which can indeed be gloomy in those parts. I like it because I am a weirdo who loves gloomy weather. With full understanding that this can be pedantic nonsense that people tell themselves in order to derive meaning from what can feel like a meaningless existence, I find that in order to keep lifting my head off the pillow each day I need to settle my brain on acknowledging both realities. For me, gratitude practices can often feel a little like positivity gaslighting. I get that it is so essential to recognise the good that we have and bring into consciousness an honesty about the beautiful parts of our lives. Especially as a tool to fortify ourselves in the face of adversity. However, when you are struggling to keep your head above the rising tides of our challenging times and it feels like you are trapped in a super set of tidal waves individually designed to pull the threadbare rug from under your bloodied bare feet, writing down three things you are grateful for each day without acknowledging the fact that you barely even made it to the end of the day just feels paper thin. I am struggling at the moment with swinging between feelings of total emotional disassociation and rage. It is a lot. My life here in America is isolating and the hardship is harder than I could ever have imagined. This is true and it is also true that there will not likely be a let up in suffering for a long time. It is also true that I get to drink a lovely cup of steaming hot coffee every morning that I look forward to more than I could ever have believed. I have the physical capacity to go outside my door and walk with my teacup human and my dogs if I choose and we can take our time, breath in clean air, feel a stretch in the ole legs and wave at the garbage truck drivers who, to our delight, the horn and make the truck dance for us every time. I am grateful that I get to hold my little one as she falls asleep being the last thing she sees at night and the first word she says every morning, ‘mama’. How could I have ever known how completely that one little word shatters me and fills me at the same time. There are others who don’t have these small mercies. I am fully grateful and I am wholly frustrated at the muck of it all too. I hope, dear readers, you come away knowing it is ok to feel both.
Reads
How to build a village by Rosie Spinks, What Do We Do Now That We Are Here. Goodness it’s been said by more than a few people that making friends as an adult is not easy or fun or possible (??) at least that is how I feel. I thought this was a good challenge to change the way we approach, pursue and define friendship by such narrow terms as what we have known in a different iteration of ourselves.
Ah with all the crap-ola of American governmental decisions, appointings, legislative stuff and life harming actions it’s hard to think that there is any ideas left to sow good in this country. I thought this was a great article with a practical and essential need faced by the current populace that if put in place could set a precedent with AI for the next few years. The executive order Trump should sign: AI watermarks by Erik Hoel, the Intrinsic Perspective. I learned a lot from this article and as someone who is quite frankly a little frightened by the fact that I cannot trust what I see with my eyes, hear with my ears and read with my brains online to not be AI produced I like the idea put forth.
Bants
In the spirit of humour in the darkness:
I am here to say this is me and my husband knows this of me well enough to ask “Do you want to go for a run?” when hurricane Ned starts a-brewing in our house.
This IS my child. I see no difference.
I love this peculiarity of a spectacle. The bestowing of god like powers of divination unto a rodent and holding a festival in it’s honour each year. This is the America I can get behind.
Ok that’s all the memes I got for now. My spirits were indeed lifted giggling at these this week. Honestly it’s one reason it is so DAMN hard to quit social media.
Eats
I signed myself up again to make food for my mommy group that I attend. You know, in a vain attempt to win these women over to my weirdo nerdy pants camp of friendship away from their cool SoCal Yoga mom vibes through their tummies.
CURSE YOU PAST NED
As if I needed more things to do last week. (I did not I needed less).
Anyways, I made a fabulous breakfast casserole that was delicious and gobbled up and even my child has chowed down on it’s veggie laden goodness so I am well pleased.
I used feta (rennet free) instead of ricotta because what the heck that is such an expensive cheese but honestly any cheese will do or even omit if you don’t like cheese. Also for veggies I threw in some zucchini (courgette) I had going old in the fridge and I don’t know I think some arugula (rocket) that was wilty on top. I am a big fan of using almost gone off bottom-of-the-fridge veggies in cooking. If they aren’t mouldy they still have something to give I say.
Bye bye Try January
Wow seven weeks in the first part of the year and guess what? We pretty much made it. Who else thought three months had passed only to realise that it’s not been even fully February yet?
I have been reflecting on the topic of hope a lot lately, particularly as over Christmas I found myself in a state of hopelessness. This was compounded by the fact my child was not sleeping and good god nobody can be expected to human in a state of sleep deprivation. It is as if we are trying to function from a carved out hollow mind and a body that is ten thousand leagues under the sea. If you have a buddy who is deep in the throes of no sleep for whatever reason, check on them, they need tender loving care right now. It is also certainly hard to hold onto hope with all the enraged facts of living in a world with so much anger and pain. I personally find myself infuriated by a lot of humans who have been coming at me with messages of ‘live in line with your values’, or ‘we all have the same 24 hours in a day’, or any of the various platitudes which are well-meaning but incredibly devastating to a person who is experiencing turmoil and fragmentation. I thought I was going to have to lose this platform as a means of reckoning with gestures weakly being human. In a mad flash of bright light, a beloved person came out of the woodworks to sponsor the site for a year. People are still glorious and good and I am grateful beyond my capacity to even articulate here. With that in mind I am squirreling around in the mulch of my life’s understory looking for acorns. I hope you all continue to enjoy what I unearth.
Reads
Many sad things have been a happening lately. One of those was the passing of the inimitable (thank you Hamilton the Musical for that word) David Lynch. A stalwart of cinema, Lynch has been a highly unusual but always interesting character within the world of filmmaking. With all the weirdness and wackiness of his mind the archive of his work is memorable and culture defining. While he isn’t for everyone, it cannot be said enough that he remained through his entire career an artistic visionary with a commitment to his own ideas that he held to without compromise. I enjoyed this article which showcases a quick trip through some of his significant works. David Lynch: the great American surrealist who made experimentalism mainstream by Peter Bradshaw, The Guardian
Here’s a nice little random read that caught me by surprise. I wonder if I capture my human child shrieking like a pterodactyl, which she does daily, could I somehow turn it into a decades long career in the arts. A kitten on heat with a racy physique’: the mystery of the bloodcurdling cat screech used in hundreds of movies by Amelia Tate, The Guardian
Now this was an excellent read. I wasn’t too sure where it was going to go from the opening paragraph, generally though I tend to trust work on the Preamble because it tends to be understandable, tries to reach across the aisle and bridge divisiveness and is non-inflammatory. Is Bipartisanship Dead? by Gabe Fleisher, The Preamble. A dissection of some of the legislative work that occurs in the House of Congress that involves collaboration. It is good for a change to look at some of the elements that we don’t often hear about that encourage hope and perhaps foreshadows some steps forward in terms of a more unified United States? Maybe? Maybe not?
Bants
I made a little something for you my dearest readers. A little playlist of songs that I felt were very embodying of this time of the year where we straddle the sleepy Winter that is lingering and eagerly reach for the creaking of Spring that is waking. I shall never presume that all people enjoy all the songs I choose but the story of how I have been feeling wound its way to me through these songs so hopefully it makes some sense.
Eats
We have had some weird upside down weather here in California. From raging wildfires to bitter freezing rain, it’s a confusing physical place to be in during the winter/spring transition.
I made this yummy soup as a warm, affordable option that would last us two or so days during the particularly cold days. Most of these ingredients I had in my cupboards which is my favourite kind of recipe and the only modification I did was serve it with premade naan I bought and I added in sweet potatoes. I think I washed, peeled and diced up about three large ‘taters. I tossed them in olive oil, salt, pepper and some paprika and roasted them in the oven at 425 F (218 C) for about 40-45 minutes until they reached a texture I liked. When the soup was near done I just mixed them in for a little extra filling goodness.
Y2K + 25? Eh?
Hullo and welcome back, welcome in, may I take your coat? Oh and make sure to take your shoes off before you enter please and thanks. Now settle in I’ll pour you some tea (since we are all out here doing dry January amiright?) Why the housekeeping you say. Sure it’s a new year gosh darn it and we swore we would be better precious now didn’t we?
But
Better don’t sit too tight with me. It’s been one and it’s about to be another one. A year that is. Ordinarily squarely I’d be all up in my rhythms not rituals dogmatic preaching. We are inundated with public declarations of change and earnest yet annoying ‘anti-resolution’ mantras that people who cling a little bit too tightly to plaster all over their social media. I get why they do it, it is in the hopes they can improve themselves into finding meaning. They are trying to hack living, to make it ‘efficient’, to control the narrative of their own story. Honestly, it me, I am people.
I am not in that place I usually am this time around. I’m tired. I have a toddler going through massive sleep problems. Last year took more from me than any previous and that’s saying something. My mental health is at a low point and I am struggling to wade through this muck. My family are being wrung out like sopping wet laundry hanging in the wind hoping to dry, but it’s lashing rain so likely not. They suffer and I can’t do a darned thing. The world is burning down around us and it feels so despairing to summon any sense of forward momentum. So ya know what…it’s ok to not always be trying to do it all. Let’s just take a pause and take life day by day.
Reads
I love Positive.News, one day I hope I can get a physical copy. Pity they are located in the U.K and shipping is whomp whomp. However, they have everything online so when I am looking for a little pick-me-up news story to balance all the world ending headlines I cart my patootie over to their website.
What went right this week: the good news that matters was their good news stories of the week. I am hiding there this evening.
This one is a longer read but worth the time if you have it to spare. Resolutions for a Life Worth Living: Attainable Aspirations Inspired by Great Humans of the Past by Maria Popova, The Marginalian. If you are anything like me, this act of living on earth only seems to grow more difficult and enduring can often seem unbearable. This list has a lot of nuggets of wisdom from some of the great minds that wrestled with the very things we do. I love Walt Whitman’s idea of ‘absolute aliveness’. How full does that feel, how necessary, how hopeful.
Bants
This generator is a pretty fun time waster that is easy on the eyes if you want to know how ridonkulously popular different names are. Be careful though it will humble you as a lot of names are verrrrry popular.
I am in the process of trying to coalesce all my sensibilities on being a human trying to live correctly(?)/well in the world. For a long while I thought I was the only false person facing an enduring perspective of my own lack of ‘okness’ in life. Many years I have frittered away under thoughts of “if I could just get this [insert external validation thing here] sorted/done/completed/ then I can finally rest/be real/be meaningful/be alive/be seen”. Much to my surprise these past months I have come to ascertain this is a somewhat universal sensation. If you read my post on best podcasts I listened to in 2024, you know I have become a fan of Kate Bowler’s deeply resonant journey to being human in a beautiful, terrible world. This one with Oliver Burkeman has me feeling all sorts of called out. I am looking forward to reading his book now, Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals.
Eats
Ah ‘tis the season of trying to nourish ourselves with the kinds of foods that make our bodies feel good and our minds feel comforted while we wend our way down the path of semi-hibernation. Many of us hunker down for the remaining winter seasons and try to focus on making choices that serve our sense of self in a positive way. This dish was an easy and quick warming meal for a chilly winter’s evening that has a lot of flexibility in it’s preparation.
Easy Vegetable Teriyaki Stir Fry
As you can see I made this with noodles and I added shredded brussel sprouts. This dish could easily be served with some tofu or chicken to ‘bulk it up’ as it were. I found it super filling just the veggies but you do you loves.
That’s all I got for now folks, happy to be back in business with ye.
Merry Christmas ya filthy animals
IT’s here. The FINAL Reads, Bants and Eats of 2024. Next time ye all hear from me will be 2025 and I am shooketh. I also am in my element because I know this is not everyone’s cuppa tea but I am a tried and true long time lover of New Year’s. I loves me a beginning, a middle, an ending, a rewriting and a season of majorly intense personal reflection on a massive global scale. Look, I’m greedy. Throw all the people’s resolutions worldwide at me. I will eat that shit up because the concept of turning over a page and turning inwards to personal pruning and pushing forward just makes me feel that purposeful little glowing energy ball that embeds hope within me for humankind. We are all just squishy little bugs trying really hard to do life well. Isn’t that so sweet?
Reads
1.) Octavia Butler on Creativity, the Generative Power of Our Obsessions, and How We Become Who We Are by Maria Popova. The Marginalian. I love the writings on Popova’s site because they vary in length which is nice and tend to not overstay their welcome. Some, like this, are short little bursts of juicy reflection and it’s exactly what I need to dip my brain in for a quick pick-me-up in the middle of the day.
2.) This article by the brilliant educator Sharon McMahon was a brief but rewarding read on the placement of our individual mindsets within the camps of cynic, optimist, skeptic etc. Cynicism Doesn’t Keep You Safe was a helpful read for me following the American elections as I have felt myself being pulled further towards the dismal camp of the walking despondent. Hold tight to hope loves for better, for more.
“But evidence demonstrates the opposite: cynicism doesn’t protect us. It robs us of the pleasures of life. It makes us lonely, prevents meaningful progress, and helps to reinforce the present state of affairs, no matter how bad it is.”
3.) I shared a little mini post on social media about my deep desire to not add to the bloat of unhelpful, unnecessary content in the online space. This is the article I pulled the term ‘intellectual obesity’ from. I felt very challenged by the article, hopefully it will give you all some pause for thought also.
The Intellectual Obesity Crisis by Gurwinder
Bants
This is an idyllic release of one of my favourite songs, from a band that personifies the final years of college for me. I saw them live in a tiny pub venue 2014 with an old love of mine, himself a beautiful musician, weeks before our intertwined path parted ways. I still love this band for how it was so central to most of my best memories. Some songs over time embed themselves within memories and cannot be separated from the self we were at that given moment. Often this means that recollection and an emotional response is triggered on hearing the song play. Don’t you just love this weird part of our brains.
Ok, stop the lights. This following Instagram snippet was mind blowing. I have so many questions…not least of which is does the egg asses which sperms are didley squat losers and send them a spinning off into the ether in order to find a sperm that meets her standards?
Eats
I’m here to give you an easy, breezy, beautiful Christmas party appetizer favour.
Introducing: bacon wrapped dates. Aka the easiest thing to make that will make you the clear winner at any holiday function you attend.
Preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit (205 Celsius)
Any 12 ounce package of medjool dates will do. Pitted is easier but I bought ones with pits and just cut them open and pulled them out no bother. Also I doubled my amount for a party of 15 people so I would have two dates per person. You do you.
Cut those babies open. Take out the pit if necessary. Scoop a spoonful of your choice of cheese and stuff inside of the dates.
Close her over squeezing the cheese so it’s packed nice and tight.
Take a strop of thin (not thick-cut) American bacon and cut into three pieces. Wrap tightly around each date and place on parchment on a baking sheet seam side down.
Cook for about 20 minutes or until bacon is crispy.
Make a balsamic glaze. Boil 1 cup of balsamic vinegar and 1/4 cup brown sugar in a saucepan on the stove. Stir to dissolve sugar, bring to a simmer over med-high heat and turn down to low. Stir occasionally. Mine took a while to cook but some burners it can be done in as quick as 10 minutes. It will be ready when the balsamic coats the back of of a metal spoon and drips off like maple syrup. Also a quick taste will reveal it to be sweet not acidic. Watch to make sure it doesn’t become gloopy. This will keep for 3 ish weeks and bougies up any dish.
Drizzle over dates right before serving. My photos looks like crap but I was told they tasted beautiful so, do with that what you will.
Alright my beauties. We did it. The year is done and a new dawn is awakening. The shortest day of the year is past and we survived so much and fought so well and laughed with abandon at this great silliness of being human. I hope the holiday season has glimmers of goodness to match any hard moments and remind us to keep going because none of us are alone in our struggles. See you soon.
Giving Thanks and Diving In
The holidaying season is UPON us ladies, man fronds and gentlepeoples of all sorts. We have recently come home home from being up north with family for the day of gratitude, platitudes and mass turkey consumption by the meat eater population. Or, as I like to call it, Spanksgiving.
Needless to say I am raring to dive into this season of celebrating, fighting, gifting and being alive with family and friends. I LOVE this time of year.
Especially as I will be having one of the siblings from my cohort of like-minded losers visiting over Christmas and the banter will be ripe for the plucking. Give us a nice gin and tonic precious and see what fires we can stoke at the table.
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, it’s still like two ish weeks away. All in due time, first let’s be giving November a nice big fuck you finger as we dust her off and turn to D ecember with some naive hopefulness of ‘maybe this might be a nice, kind, non-doom times sort of month?’
Ah who am I kidding? Sure we wouldn’t be living if we weren’t wading through the muck looking for a little wisp of a thing alive and surviving to move us to keep going. At least we are all in it together.
READS
So, end of times eh? How do YOU feel about it? Are we genuinely considering that this is the de-volution (is this a word?) or de-gression (is THIS a word?) of the current world system we occupy. Some food for thought perhaps and maybe a legitimately interesting topic to bring up with beloved family members across the holly jolly dinner table of dodging minefields in conversations. I read this fabulous article last night, How I became ‘collapse aware' by Rosie Spinks, and can’t stop thinking about it. I would say this is perhaps one of the most richly provocative articles I have read in response to the current American elections and the fallout of how it played out. Spinks writes with language the way my deepest thoughts sound to myself even as I fail to articulate them on an external level. When I read her work I get a pain in the back of my neck from nodding my head so frequently and I basically highlight and rewrite a line every five because it’s just that good.
As always it’s good to balance this deep, brooding, exterior focused conversation with some thoughtful discourse on our beautiful interior selves. Parenting children at home as a focused job means that many of us humans live life with some measure of isolation and solitude. I myself have been trying to figure out how to seek friendship and community in a different way now I no longer go to a physical workplace which was my primary natural socialising zone. Last week I listened to a podcast where the two hosts said that female friendship for them was defined in some part through sharing an emotion with the other person and having them treat is as the most precious gem they have ever beheld. I LOVE THAT. Can it be true?
weeps in woman speak
Read this and dare not to cry.
The Monarchs, Music, and the Meaning of Life: The Most Touching Deathbed Love Letter Ever Written
BANTS
I know the internet sucks and our creativity is diminished our attention spans zapped and our health in the toilet. But jaysus , there is also so much good-good being made out there that it’s almost shocking how hard it is to train our selves to perceive and entwine with it.
The Wicked film is here, of course it probably flew T O T A L L Y under your radar my dear readers. >:^)
Juuuust kidding of course I for one am di-hi-hiyyyying to go see it specifically with my two sisters who live in a different country and who also have children. Can some fairy godperson make this happen for us please?
If you live any significant amount of time on social media then I am sure you have laid eyes on the Ariana Grande/Cynthia Arivo ‘bestie friend forever and ever’, emo girl in your deep-feelings-holding space-vibe press tour. It’s…sweet and bizarre and well feels very amusing and interesting to watch. Not to mention the noodles of funny spoof videos percolating on our socials out there. Wicked could be terrible, I would be ruined, but it could (probably) is amazing. The sets, the costumes, the sheer commitment to zealous work and high energy of the cast and crew. I hope it’s a dream, please if you have seen it and have thoughts share them with me.
EATS
I was tasked with bringing a dish to the festivities. I do not personally eat animal flesh (apart from sea dwelling ones) but wanted to bring a dish symbolically reminiscent of my homeland. I was gonna do scotch eggs to honour ye old Scottish lands but instead went with a tried and true Shepherd’s Pie. In the UK I believe (correct me if I am wrong) Shepherd's Pie is made with lamb, which tracks with the name. In Ireland we make it more often with beef. I substituted red lentils and mushrooms in mine. I have made this dish for Thanksgiving before and it was yummy noshy comforty food. ‘Twas really easy too, the hardest part is chopping all the annoying things one has to chop, and of course attempting to make anything when you have a stage five clinger toddler-baby.
This photo is crap. I know but seriously look at them buttery ‘taters.
I don’t know about you my loves but I am having a rough time right now. Spirits are low, and I find it challenging to keep myself going forward without rage quitting my life. I started this website as an accessible way to feel like I was making creative things that brought me joy and positively impacted people’s lives. Maintaining this site is costly financially and time wise. I wonder in this headspace I am in if it’s worth the using up of few and far between precious hours of freedom I get in a week. I feel weary going into the end of this year, I am hoping I am not alone in that. I hope this silly site of mine brings you, my few and far between readers, some positive contribution and is not just something you feel is obnoxious content trying to distract and deny you a fully lived life. Hopefully your weary feels seen by my weary and it emboldens us both to keep going for we know the darkest night will come and go and we are not ever alone in it.
Sorry for the rapid tone shift. Catch you later alligators.
November november give me something to remember
So I went a little ranty on my ‘non-political’, political post, A Brief Word. I kept going back and forth on posting it. Do I acknowledge what’s going on? Or do I keep my mouth shut? This personal mouth of mine has a history of highly opinionated word vomiting that isn’t always the most appropriate, well-informed or nessecary course of action in certain (almost all) circumstances. I am, what they like to call, a CHATTERBOX.
“SURELY NOT NED?” I hear you cry in disbelief dear readers.
Yes, shockingly I am. I know it seems soooo out of character.
Also I have highly emotional, bossy, know-it-all tendencies that I have been truly trying to grow through and out of. Most importantly of all I noticed in past versions of myself a habit of being an ‘interrupter’ and I really don’t like that part of me. So, I have mostly been erring on the side of not saying anything but listening.
In the end I did post a little statement on my ‘thoughts’. However, it is not really political in the sense of a sharing of my personal views but merely a…written response to the feelings I have on how we have been to each other through this time. If you live in America, we have not been good or kind. Maybe what I say can encourage us to look at this situation differently, maybe it will spark conversation, or maybe it is the wrong thing to say. Part of me needed to release it and that’s why I did it. Sorry to have added to the noise I hope I can be a force of quietude.
Reads
Firstly, I wish to share this poem. I basically always share the stuff I wish I had written.
How Dark the Beginning
By Maggie Smith
All we ever talk of is light—
let there be light, there was light then,
good light—but what I consider
dawn is darker than all that.
So many hours between the day
receding and what we recognize
as morning, the sun cresting
like a wave that won’t break
over us—as if light were protective,
as if no hearts were flayed,
no bodies broken on a day
like today. In any film,
the sunrise tells us everything
will be all right. Danger wouldn’t
dare show up now, dragging
its shadow across the screen.
We talk so much of light, please
let me speak on behalf
of the good dark. Let us
talk more of how dark
the beginning of a day is.
Secondly, I have been finishing up my re-reading of the book Atomic Habits over the past few weeks. Sometimes with non-fiction, I like to read it over, in a more thorough manner so I can take notes and also because I have a tendency to skim when I am tired and that’s not good for ingesting deep content. One of the ideas put across by the author was the concept of being in motion versus in action.
I love thinking about my relationship to creativity and how it intersects with habits and identity. Committing to the practices of making, writing, thinking, and being over a lifetime in order to reckon with the vortex of thought inside and response outside basically is my forever fallback thought spiral. If you know me, then you know it’s the one beaten path I drag my tired aging body up and down without ever reaching a true destination or assuredness all the damn time.
This essay over on The Marginalian popped up in my email in these last few weeks and it felt like a nice validation of the concept of wrestling with the inner self and the external creative process. The introduction to this is chef’s kiss oh so tasty. Again, I wish I had written it.
“ Writing is the best instrument I have for metabolizing my experience and clarifying my own mind in such a way that I am no longer captive to it.”
Bants
I recently somehow stumbled upon this amazing spice company, Diaspora Co, I think maybe through a targeted Instagram ad. This makes sense as their design choices are totally up my alley. I ordered some looseleaf tea and much-needed spices that my kitchen has been missing and I can report they are 100% worth ordering from. We used their pragati turmeric in a dish I recently made, just a small pinch, and it was punchy, present, and effervescent. Best of all, it did not have the stale taste that crappy old spices often have. If you have the means and they are available where you live, I suggest investing in those few essentials that are hard to access in stores and elevate your dishes to the next, herbaceous level.
For a beautiful discussion of where we go from here in the sharp inhale of post-election America, listen to this podcast interview between Kate Bowler and Parker Palmer. These two are so genuine, so curious and emotional it was a pleasure to hear their thoughts. It helped me with some of my loosey-goosey feelings that still feel displaced.
Eats
I do not have a lot of recommendations of recipes this week as I have simply been falling back on some old faithful foods to #getby. (We are still suffering the sleep consequences of daylight savings). However……I did throw together this last-minute gnocchi dish I just kinda winged after an exhausting weekend and it was so easy, delicious, and came together super quick. I love a one-pan dish that celebrates convenience and taste, it’s that plus any Dutch oven recipe and I’m like yes yes let me play goddamnit.
So here it was, I’ll try to recall my measurements I kinda winged.
2 bell peppers sliced into strips
1/2 red onion peeled and chopped into thin strips
However many cherry tomatoes you have on hand ( I had 1/4 of a container) sliced into halves if small or quarters if oblong shaped
1 tablespoon ish of minced garlic (ie however much your heart tells you)
1 teaspoon sea salt
A few crunches of cracked black pepper
2 tablespoons of olive oil
1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
A dash of crushed red peppper flakes added to personal preference of zing level
Combine all ingredients in a bowl mix until well combined
Spread on a baking tray (yusssss we baking this gnocs) and cook at 450 degrees farenheit/ 220 celsius for 18-20mins depending on your oven
LE MOST IMPORTANT: Grate cheese or toss shredded cheese all over as much as you please. Place back in oven (just turned off and cooling) for a couple minutes to melt the the cheese. Serve and gorge yourself mmmmmmm.
That’s it. It was unbelievable. Hope it gives you a day of good eating my loves.
OHHH I forgot I added some sliced vegetarian sausage. You can totally slice up some sausage and precook in a pan and then add to the tray to cook with food for added protein. Or not, whatever you like. Chicken sausage is a good taste with this setup I have been told by mi familia.
Hanging in there for a new month
Wow so has anyone else been totally decimated by daylight saving time or just me? I lived in Hawaii for almost two glorious years where they do not observe this absolutely befuddling practice of nonsense and tomfoolery. There has never been a moment more that I have rued the day I was born to this earth than watching my child laying on the floor in a weeping state on and off for almost two hours because she was so darn exhausted and I had to keep her awake so she would sleep at least partly for a few reasonable hours. What horseshit it is, and also nobody wants this so why do we continue to observe this? Because it’s just what we do, what we have always done and ah it is what it is. You know what though, if Hawaii and Arizona can opt out then I think the rest of us could surely convince this silly government to opt out en masse. Now this is a political issue I could rally behind.
Sorry dear ones for complaining so, my daughter has been up at 4:30 am the last two days and I did not know that we would get rocked by this so hard. I have been about a year or so out from the sleep deprivation of the newborn days and I forgot how dreadful they are.
Onward, to some positive things to enrich our sweet, little noodle brains with this coming week.
Reads
Suleika Jaouad is a writer who I have delightfully read for a long time and whose personal story, Between Two Kingdoms, is a brilliant and eviscerating read. I also gleefully listen to the music of Jon Batiste and love that he took over hosting an edition of this newsletter for his sweet love. Imagine being bound up in a relationship with such creative zest and life. Oh, it’s delicious.
So what if Martha Stewart is a perfectionist control freak? by Constance Grady, Vox.com
There is a new documentary out on Netflix that looks verrrry interesting about the controversial cooking darling Martha Stewart. She herself has criticised the show and that is an interesting spin on the whole thing. I plan on watching it this weekend so we shall see what is illuminated, she certainly seems to be a very multi-dimensional, complex person.
Bants
Following on from sharing a piece of writing from Jon Batiste, I feel needs must compel me to share with you the Architectural Digest Open Door tour of their divine home. It epitomises them, I feel, when you watch it. The celebration of play, creation, love, and self-expression is all there. They genuinely seem to love each other and their home feels like…well a home. It is nurturing and unpredictable and feels true to who they are as a couple and as individuals. It is not staged, removed, calculated, or impersonal which so often feels the case in a lot of celebrity homes especially when they have the means to own and decorate it at the highest price point. This video just makes me smile, I hope it does for you also.
Eats
The book choice for the month of October in my family book club was ‘Salem’s Lot by Stephen King. While I am not a horror genre person myself, I don’t have the iron will to hold back the flood of intrusive thoughts that run away with my sanity in the wake of terror, I do appreciate the absolute enthralling excellence that is King’s writing. I enjoyed The Shining when I read it years ago and this book, only his second written, was surprisingly delightful, chilling, and perfect for the season. After finishing the book, I was so inspired by the eerie tale I decided to concoct a spooky beverage themed around the story for consumption on the night of Halloween.
Firstly, I made my own simple syrup. You could buy something to do in place of this if you wanted but this was easy. 1:1 ratio of sugar to water always for simple.
Mixed Berry Simple
680g frozen mixed berries
2 cups of water
2 cups of white sugar
Bring to a boil over high heat, reduce, and simmer tasting to see when the desired level of berriness is achieved. I cooked for approx 15-20 mins. Smash berries with a ladle or masher and strain through a fine mesh strainer twice to remove the pulp. Keeps for up to two weeks well in the fridge.
‘Salem’s Lot
2 oz gin (vodka could also work here)
Sparkling rosé or prosecco to float
1.5 ounce mixed berry simple
0.75 ounce fresh lemon juice
Combine all ingredients except for the sparkling wine in a shaker. Add ice, shake vigorously until well combined. Strain into a glass removing the ice. Using spoon, pour approx 2-3 ounces rose over the back of the spoon into the glass to float on top of the drink. Garnish with fresh berries if feeling fancy.
She cute
I know it’s a short one of recommendations, my loves, this time around. My brain is a misty bog and I am being led down some very suspicious paths of sleepiness by a wily pookah. My bed, she calls me or that might be my baby crying?
But pumpkin it’s meant to hurt thems is the good stuff
Halloween week is here and it’s a mixed bag of emotions and experiences. Things always seem to be that way especially now that I am entering into life from the perspective of being a parent. This is as opposed to how I used to commemorate and celebrate the passage of time which was from a dual-income-no-kid, living life to the max kind of way. I was that perpetually young Peter-pan syndrome ragamuffin human. That’s how I have come to view my life pre-gremlin baby. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
Things like Halloween were more about you know maybe getting drunk skunkies, eating chocolate, staying up late, sleeping in the next day, dressing ‘slutty’ (is it ok to use this term in 2024? asking for a friend). Still, you know, showing some skin while pretending to be someone or something else, scary, magical, pun-tastic, or anything that took your fancy….the whole gamut of fun. Now it’s all about finding all the local ‘trunk or treat’ events which is like trick or treating but to parked cars so I guess safer (fear is powerful these days). It’s a season of going to pumpkin patches and watching my child climb on them and fall off crying while sweating my balls off in the 100-degree heat because what is sweater weather in this day and age? Even better is the act of googling ‘easy homemade Halloween costumes for toddlers and time-poor parents’. Results run the gamut of extreme mom-ing. To be shown extremely complex, hours-long crafting projects to make a glamourous designer baby costume involving items, I would literally have to go buy at the store and costing me more in time and sanity than a shite pre-made costume would have and what would I be trying to prove at this point?
It’s all so very funny. I like belonging to this weird parent club. It’s kind of great mostly not sometimes. It’s all very messy I try not to analyse it too much but all this comes to mean is I can’t wait to finally….finally get to eat my child’s trick-or-treat candy as I rightly deserve. None of this ‘switch witch’ bullshit in our house. If you don’t know what that is google it, diet culture be trying the most to get kids young.
Reads
We are a couple of weeks away from the American elections for President and all the other things to vote on and I can’t wait for it to end.
This is the worst thing about living in the US and it has really broken my spirit over the last near-decade I have lived here. I’m my innocent youth, politics was once something I thought of as an interesting way to discuss philosophical ideas, cultural, and historical movements over time. It was lofty, intellectual and big picture stuff. Now it feels like a weapon of harmful discourse, exhaustingly derogatory ideology, and a revelation of what happens when humans become the worst versions of themselves. We are brown beaten by the political realm, politics is the new religion.
So it’s just kind of a bummer here at the moment. Everywhere you turn someone makes every little thing that exists under the sun a political cause/statement/opinion/assumption. It’s exhausting from that deep bone-tired place I haven’t been in since the newborn days of my daughter. In the spirit of trying to keep on living through all that and keeping perspective on the fact that other things are going on that are far more interesting and significant, I found a new website that focuses on positive news stories so that has lifted my mood a little. Here is their weekly roundup of interesting, positive global news stories.
What went right this week: the good news that matters
This is another article I read on Positive.News this week that left me thinking it might be ok to be a human in this world if it could only be like the one in this article. I am sure it will be realised for us, and poetry is definitely a vehicle that will carry many passengers to this new sweet destination of being in personhood. We just have to let it become.
Well versed: the pharmacy that dispenses poems instead of medicine by Isobel Lewis
Bants
Over the weekend I watched two fantastic films for very different reasons. The first film, I am going to do a full-on, in-your-face review because it was shockingly brilliant and I had absolutely no idea what I had signed up for. The second was Dan Levy’s film, Good Grief, about a man who is trying to live in the aftermath of the sudden death of his husband. I had heard this was a deliciously human story with some tastefully gorgeous set designs, wardrobe choices, and that quippy millennial zing of creative joie de vivre we are all searching for. Plus Ruth Negga is in it and I love her because she is Irish and just sizzles on screen. Highly recommend a watch, I wanted to share a sweet little quote near the start of the film that made my heart do that ba-bump ba-bump thing it hasn’t done in a while. God I love how some people can write, if only.
“I have longed for people before, I have loved people before.
Not like this.
It was not this.
Give me a world, you have taken the world I was.”
It seems it’s a hell of a lot easier to fall asleep on life. There are many days in life where I have thought to myself, “I wish I could go back to before all the….knowing”. In a way I think part of me finds the allure of sleepwalking through life quite attractive because once you are awake to it all, the good and the bad, you feel everything and so much weighs on you. I liked this ted talk I stumbled upon by the illustrator Wendy McNaughton who addresses briefly how what we expect changes in our minds what we experience and we don’t really often see what’s really in front of us.
Lastly, I will share this old podcast episode with you I listened to yesterday. Seems like I am circling a lot of grief centric subjects in my mental consumption habits lately. Hmmm wonder what that’s about? Anyway, this brief interview is with Lucy Kalanithi in 2018. She was the wife of Paul Kalanithi who wrote an exquisite book during the process of his dying from terminal lung cancer. At the time she ended up finishing the book for him. I read the book back when it came out in 2016, When Breath Becomes Air, and it was profound. I have carried much of it with me since. Such a beautiful conversation on love and loss this was.
Eats
I was recently tasked with cooking up a dish for a group of women in a mom-group thing that I semi attend and my category was ‘wild card’. So I could bring anything as long as it was yummy (the standard I set myself) and somewhat brunch-y. Here is the kicker, I am by far the person living in the lowest income bracket of this particular bunch. We live in a wealthy area and vis-a-vis that means something like this, a local mama club where you need to have childcare on a weekday to attend , tends to generally be a group of pretty financially secure humans. Which is fine but I couldn’t really be affording to spend a lot of money on this. So I went with something that’s yummy, easy enough to make in bulk, vegetarian (because I wanted to eat it) and I make it pretty frequently because it’s made up of cheap ingredients that you more than likely already have in your kitchen.
The delicious Elote Style Quinoa Salad by Pinch of Yum.
I don’t, however, make her dressing. I don’t like it that much so I make my own from a different recipe I found which I forgot the source but will share it here. Now I made this dish en bulk so I tripled it I think and it was plenty for this massive group of women, I had to carry it into that place in my dutch oven and it got gobbled up. So that felt very validating. It wont look this big when you make it as in my picture. I also added red onion to it. One time before I made it with bell peppers and also I used canned corn because I do not have the brain space to be shucking and husking corns on the cob. Versatility is the name of this game with this you can easily add shredded chicken which I have done before or do a different grain like say couscous might be nice.
Street Corn Dressing
3 tbsp mayo
2 tbsp plain greek yoghurt (or regular full fat)
1 lime zested and juiced
to taste: sea salt, paprike, chili powder, cayenne pepper
Use 1/4 tsp at a minimum of each or less if you want but the salad itself is unseasoned so I like to make the dressing as spicy and salty as can to zing up the salad.
My toddler the second her feet touch the ground
As you can see from the above meme I am a weary follower of the worlds most go-getter toddler-baby. On we press into November one of my all time favourite months!
So what are we loving lately?
I have been riding the solo parent train for a few days now. My husband is on a work trip in West Africa which has me thinking when did I graduate to the “my partner is on a work trip…” stage of parenting? I do not feel ready for this. Just over a year ago, I would work sure but I did not have responsibility like this and I was not prepared. Most of my free time was spent….well….lounging around like a lemming who couldn’t be arsed to do much at all except that which pleased her and I would sleep when I wanted, read when and wherever I wanted and waste whole days being a human potato. I spent my money on dog bandanas and matching collar and leash sets. I kid you not. I was an absolute fool of a took. NOT ANY MORE SON. It comes for us all. The death of our youth is in the form of the birth of a teacup human who will require an entire day and night of attendance, care, and entertainment in perpetuity. What do you do with a toddler universe? Please dear ones if you have suggestions send them my way. I have what you might call a ‘busy’ child. She is always on the move, I am exhausted; apparently, this is the ‘easy’ part of childrearing. Oh great.
Reads
I am reading (or convincing myself that I am) more than a few books at the moment. I have a commitment issue insofar as I commit to reading on average 4-5 books at a time. I tell myself, hey as long as they are different genres and I am not gonna get confused about which story is telling me what then surely I am good. Also, library e-book waiting lists are the worst and in my opinion highly problematic. Tell me why I request a book that is not available for 16 weeks so I go to request a couple more because hopefully, I can get one, and all of them are unavailable for some extraordinary amount of differing times but sure look may as well build them up hopefully I can stack them. Only to find on waking that all of my books have become available immediately at once and now I have to decide whether to read them all at the same time or put myself back to the end of the queue and which book do I choose and why is the one book I wanted the only one not actually available? Some may think reading is a low-stakes hobby but oh no my friends I disagree. For now I have a situation where two books I was trying to read at the same time on my kindle have both been returned to the library simultaneously and I am only HALFWAY through and now have to add myself BACK to the waiting list. So slap me sideways and colour me a fish. <——Is this an expression? My brain thinks it is.
Here are a few articles I managed to squeeze in a read on when nursing my little one late at night and my Kindle was dead.
1.) Dodge the vomiting cake! How TV baking went from twee to terrifying- By Stuart Heritage, The Guardian
“What these shows have in common is an understanding of why baking shows are so popular. First, all of them – even Killer Cakes, despite its gory premise – share a core seed of wholesomeness in their DNA.”
This article itself is a wholesome read questioning the longevity of the most purely good-natured of television out there-competition baking shows. These are the sifted sweetness of the human soul. A the soft place for our fragile, frazzled selves to land after fighting for our lives in a world that pushes so much fear and pain on us all of the time and has us wound up like anxiety in Inside Out 2 unable to escape the maelstrom of our manic minds (see attached gif below for context).
2.) The Outrun: My real life as an alcoholic, played out on the big screen-By Amy Liptrot, The Guardian
If you havn’t read The Outrun by Amy Liptrot I highly recommend you go out and get a copy and read it. This is for those of us who crave memoirs that address living with addiction, the trauma response of loved ones and rebuilding/repairing those bonds, and are deeply moved by love letters dedicated to the wild. This story is about Liptrot’s personal experience of growing up on the inescapably primordial Orkney Islands and her life with alcohol and recovery. The book is breathtaking, the film starring Saoirse Ronan just came out and I have been looking forward to this all year. This book feels very personal for me. I enjoyed Liptrot’s article discussing the bizarre experience of seeing her personal made global and what that does to memory and felt experience.
Ok ok one more little thing I am sharing for your reading pleasure.
3.) In Conversation-Carson Ellis
Katherine May is one of my yummy, winter bug writers I just love to love. Her way with words for taking me in and back to myself are top notch. I stumbled on this interview on her substack The Clearing, with Ellis. She is a lovely illustrator and writer whose Wildwood book I bought on a whim on my honeymoon way back in 2016! Ellis just had a new book released in September that she wrote and illustrated based on her own recently recovered diary from her twenties called One Week In January: New Paintings For An Old Diary. Such a fabulous idea. A quote from the interview that stood out to me captures the creative overwhelm I feel when trawling the online space. It’s a quick read, maybe you will feel inspired to get one of her books.
Bants
One of my fav podcasts of all time recommended a new podcast episode for listeners so I figured I would give it a listen and I am glad I did. It feels like a big theme of humaning right now is dealing with overload and information overwhelm. Since I have been trying to manage and figure out feeding an extra little person in my life every day and ensure she gets nourished I relate HARD to this idea of drowning in options. There is so much out there for me to choose and make for her but I am completely paralysed by limitless choice. There must be some psycho-social theory about how the more we have available the less we feel sure of what we avail of.
I also love food and the stories that food tells, sharing recipes that are accessible and delicious with my loved ones matters to me. “In this current economic climate….” (says every exasperated human ever) it is important to affordably shop in the best way that fits your personal level of income. Whether that is eating out at nice restaurants or making cheaper swaps and cooking in bulk to make a meal stretch, it is a personal value of mine to make cooking enjoyable and easy for my life and others right now. Have a listen below, let me know what you think.
Eats
Orzo is really having a moment for me. Annoying because it’s so niche and when you buy it at the grocery store it’s like one of those tiny box items you can’t buy in bulk. I do so love it in a dish because it’s yummy and pasta-y. This dish was so so so so so good and I made it with veggie sausage but you can certainly omit the sausage if that’s your fancy. I also did it with veggie better than bouillon base because that’s what I buy. I am attaching the recipe here for you all hopefully it will be a good meal to prep for hungry bellies as the weather starts to turn down towards the cooling dark earthy tones we expect this time of year.
Winter is coming
Not with a bang but with a fizzle. Every day I wake up and notice the slow, gentle creeping of the seasons ticking over from a summer that doesn’t quite want to let us go into a wintery embrace that seeks to shroud our mornings in a chilly, self-reflective fog. It’s amusing how, when we live in a place, we often ache after living in another place whether it’s a place we have been or one we think is where we are meant to be. It’s often challenging to remain in the here. Something I find especially difficult when my life is ‘out of order’ is a natural tendency to crave a time in my life when I felt in control and powerful and compare everything in my current reality against it. This leads me down a path towards bitterness and resentment and then I begin to cast forward to my imagined future I might have had if only I had made a slew of different choices. It’s quite a self-destructive cycle of intrusive thought spiralling because at the end of it, all that is left is my circumstances still the same but my mindset and outlook bleak and even more unhappy with a loss of hope. That’s no way to live this one little life I have got. As September ends and I have recently crossed a birthday bridge I have become reflective and in many ways, I feel it’s a good thing. The midway point of the year is a delicious opportunity to reset and re-establish how you want to embody your space, your existence, your You-ness as the year draws to a close in a few months. We just passed the Autumn Equinox-September 22nd ish this year-or Michaelmas as it’s known in the western Christian calendar. It’s often seen as the official step into the gale of the wintering seasons, the middle of the harvest when we begin to buckle down, and an opportunity to lean into facing fears and fortifying one’s resolve. I love that for us. Lean in, reap what is there, turn over and resolutely face what’s to come as it reshapes our landscape.
Reads
I love cookbooks. I love the ones that have pretty pictures, and witty, self-deprecating stories. The ones that normalise what it is to be a normal human cooking for humans and completely at yer wits ends with understanding how to make stuff taste good and satisfy hungy bellies. I want recipes that fit my limited time but also make me feel like I am enjoying the process that leads to the rewards of noms. I especially love a book that shares most excellent swaps for common ingredients that you maybe don’t know you are out of till halfway through or perhaps a member of your family doesn’t eat a certain component and you need a yummy alternative. Even better if it does not judge me for throwing in a tablespoon of pre-minced store-bought garlic instead of the recommended finely chopped fresh clove of garlic (what parent is out here chopping cloves of fresh garlic for meals? Ain’t nobody got time for that). This cookbook is all that and more. I have made one recipe each week from it and it has been fun, easy, and delicious. Also, there are good options for affordable eats my favourite recipe is the Cheesy Beans And Rice which was so very cheap to make, so filling, and stretched a long way in our house. 10/10 recommend.
What To Cook When You Don’t Feel Like Cooking by Caroline Chambers
Here is a fun article I somehow came across on Substack and promptly followed the writer because anyone who puts the phrase ‘zero fucks’ with ‘mom’ in their title is my kind of people. After reading it and figuring out this list thing is a viral tiktok trend I might write one myself might not depends on if I can think of more than three things I don’t care/care about in the context of my life right now. LOL.
Bants
Right now I am all about interacting with things that soothe me. I need a balm to wrap around my entire body, mind, spirit and just reset. I am surfacing from an extremely trying three week sleep transition process with my child and I am seeking softness. This video came right in the nick of time. I love Architectural Digest’s Open Door videos. When I want to just melt into something that helps me rest my overthinking mind but meets my itch for creative nourishment this is just the place I turn. I have always held a soft spot for Jennifer Garner, I adore her home and she genuinely seems to be a kind, generous person. Elektra is one of my ALL time favourite roles of hers. This peek into her dreamy farm home makes me dream in a good way about how I would design my ideal home if that were ever to become a reality.
Eats
I mentioned above my fav little cookbook I have been pulling from on the regular. Other than cookbooks I mostly get all of my recipes from the internet, Pinterest being my primary source of inspiration for its limitless resources. I guess I didn’t even realise that the world of cooking blogs and writing is so large….I find more ever more creatives writing and making and sharing and it’s impressive. I love cooking but my creative flair is sadly not in recipe development but in recipe appreciation :D :D My other favourite source as you all know is Pinch Of Yum. I made this recipe from her site last week and it took like 15 minutes or less to throw together and we wolfed it down over two nights and again really very minimal cost. I omitted meatballs as I don’t eat meat and figured it was filling enough that we didn’t need it but I am sure it probably tastes scrumdiddlyumptious with some good ole meaty balls.
Creamy Baked Orzo with Meatballs
As a note, I did not use tomato soup because I do not like tomato soup, I substituted it with a jar of regular ole pasta sauce of the marinara type. I also used a chickpea orzo because that is all they had at the grocery store so accidently gluten-free but still good. You could easily do gnocchi instead of orzo which is a hard one to find or regular pasta if you have littles who like to eat certain shapes.
Ok now who has started watching the new season of Great British Bake Off/Baking Show?
A week of wobblies
It’s been a rough one gentleladies and manlymops. I am beginning to suspect that navigating the seas of parenting means that each week will inevitably have a bunch of shite mixed in with the sublime for the rest of my life. Jeeeepers I am tired just thinking about all the stuff that awaits me. I have barely scraped the tip of the iceberg with this little goblin queen I am now forever fun-employed by. Something I like to try keep in perspective when I really feel like I am drowning in overwhelm is that I have been to the bottom of the deep well of darkness before. I have managed to climb my way out and find the glimmers of lovely things growing and thriving even in that most hostile of environments. This current time may feel beyond hard but really it is the deep well in the potting mix from which the roots of a budding plant begin life. Honestly life swings back and forth on the spectrum of joy/sadness, ease/difficulty and I have to truly focus on reminding myself of these things daily when I feel so so lost and so so alone.
Anyway that was maybe a little bit too vulnerable of a moment for you all but there ya have it. My brain is so snoozy by the end of every night that when I sit down I simply want to melt into my couch and watch the trash tv of reality dreams and float away on an abyss of nothingness and goo for all of eternity. Most days I feel like I am internally screaming,
can no longer human
It certainly makes it challenging to muster up the level of rogueish wordsmithing I aspire to when writing these posts.
However, we press on.
Reads
Alrighty then, I have been trying to squeeze some light online reading in during the few breaths in a day where I am not ‘on’ for anyone else.
Sometimes we forget that people in positions of influence, power, and celebrity are also just people. They may have some cushioning at times but they go through a lot of the same shit we ‘normal’ people wade through. This article reminded me of that. Colin Farrell opens up about son with Angelman syndrome: ‘We still struggle’ At the end of the day we all have these intensely challenging, deeply moving experiences as we live our lives some public some private. It’s good every so often to have a reminder that hardship doesn’t only come for some of us but is felt by all. I feel for Colin Farrell. I can’t imagine the years of challenge and resilience he has experienced, just like he can’t imagine mine.
Ok ok, I will share one…ONE post about the debacle of what is going on in the race for America between the current Vice President Kamala Harris and Former President Donald Trump and how that trickles down through the parties. I am not going to share any opinions, although I am assuming my lack of opinion has already swayed your conception of my political leanings within your minds dear reader. It is all a circus and an exhausting never-ending one at that. Every time election season comes around it makes me regret all of my decisions ever that landed me in this country. I think the most striking line in this short piece is “Now, if you work with somebody across the aisle, you risk your career in Congress.” Sharan McMahon is an interesting human, fondly known as America’s Government Teacher, she has a lot of brilliant methods of simply explaining complex socio-political jargon and goings on for us normal folk.
When Did Compromise Become a Four Letter Word
Also here is a little piece on Time Magazine if you would like some context on McMahon and why people appreciate her…middle of the road approach to an extremely polarised, partisan world.Sharon McMahon Did Not Plan to Be America’s Government Teacher
I am not really sure where this political mess and violence and hate is all going, probably not anywhere good but, oh I hope we can turn it around.
Bants
I love love love ethereal music that incorporates classical meets modern meets orchestral, faerie-like tuneskie doodles that speak to the essence of existence. This is evidenced by my undying devotion to the great of all greats Max Richter who sits on the wall of heavenly alternative reality and the highs and lows of the human soul-led experience. I used to paint great art to his music.
So, IMAGINE my utter delight when finding out that Jonsi just dropped a new album on August 31st, three years since his last in 2021. His new album, First Light, was originally conceptualised as a video game soundtrack but soon expanded into something more. He spoke of the album, “Writing this music at a time of manmade global turmoil and unrest for a video game,” Jónsi said, “I imagined ‘First Light’ as a momentary fantastical, over-the-top, utopian world where everyone and everything lives together in everlasting peace and harmony. Choosing beauty over disorder, hope over fear, our universal divine angel guardians watching over us and connecting us all as one through love, melody, and music.” When I listen to the titular single of the album, First Light, it glides upon my skin with a meadowy peace. It gives me a little bit of a reprieve from this big, cold, exhausting world of ours. If that kind of deep, emotive, and releasing music is your thing well have a little listen. It is a balm. It reminds me simultaneously of Blue Planet and Ad Astra mixed. I feel….endless. I may not have much going for me most of the time, but I have this certainty. If you ever wanted to know what is at the core of me, this
Eats
Make haste fools and get ye into the kitchen to make this INCREDIBLE dish. I accidentally found this random recipe on Pinterest when I realised I did not have enough ingredients to make the dinner I had originally wanted to make but by some stroke of fortune I had a package of shelf-stable gnocchi in the cupboard that I had randomly bought on the spur of the moment because it was on sale. I NEVER buy gnocchi because it’s usually on the more expensive end and doesn’t stretch to more than one ish meal for the most part. Also I split this onto two small trays and did one iteration with Italian sausage for my husband and one with vegetarian sausage for me. You can also omit sausage altogether if you please.
I am aware this looks like a bloody mess but bless us all it was divine. My husband oh so sweetly asked "Um do you think you might make this again one day soon?"
My dog Hagrid every damn day in our apartment. He is lucky I love his fluffers chonks McButt. In the same way I love you dedicated readership. Kay byeeee.
Got that Autumnal Feelin’
The first week of September has been and gone with the fiery, hot fart gases of hell smacking you in the face as you walk out the door in Southern California. We are experiencing a heat wave like no other, think cookies baking on the dashboard temps, almost. Erstwhile, Ireland has officially announced the coldest, wettest summer in a decade. Well. now what a mixed bag of weather we have here. What is the world succumbing to? Poor Ireland, my lovely people had (since I have left mind you) been experiencing almost ten years of glorious summers that brought out the bared, freckled milk bottle shoulders burnt to a lovely lobster crisp. The ruddy cheeks of those lucky bastards grinning over disposable tesco bbq grills on the dunes of Brittas Bay eating a burger whilst running into the (still) frigid waters. When the sun shines in Ireland god it’s like paradise herself has awakened in all people united in their need to get out for a nice ole stretch. Ah the memories.
Here is my favourite Irish social commentator/comedian/all around good guy and his personal opinion of how the weather in Ireland just can’t get it’s shit together and it’s a downright shame.
I love September. It feels like New Year’s Part II. I have always been a fan of opportunities to waste massive amounts of time turning inwards and thinking deeply or incessantly on being, in both ourselves and the world.
Reads
I have been attempting to wrestle control of my shockingly large volume of photos hogging storage on my little patch of fluffy cumulus nimbus in the internet sky. In doing so I have been taking a trip down memory lane to my life before I became a mother and after. A challenge I have been facing in this part of my life is my attempts to not make everything about being a mama. Yet, everything in my life is finding itself rooted in this new soil of motherhood. To be honest with you, I am unsure what the appropriate course of action is. When I look at the photos of my old self, I don’t recognise her. Often, sadly, I feel a revulsion and frustration towards her. I lament her and grieve what might have been. This snappy little read hit me in the feels a bunch.
Having kids changed my career, but not how you might think by Elissa Strauss, Made With Care
Book recommendation: I finally picked up and finished a book after a month-long hiatus. August was hard. I’m on a bit of an environmental-centered media consumption kick these past few weeks. Mostly in the region of natural disasters. Anything in the world-is-ending realm seems to do me just fine. Me thinks I am managing the chaos of my life this past summer with chaotic stories of future world destruction. The Light Pirate by Lily Brooks-Dalton is well worth a read. It’s bleak-ish and redemptive with beautiful weavings of the wild. It left me with such longing for my daughter and the next generations who will inherit this world of ours. If you like dystopian-environmental-survivalist fiction with a smidgen of magical realism then this book is for you.
Bants
Here is a few things that made me smile and also feel a glimmer of the ghost of my own self’s past this week.
Photos of the divine. Milky Way is a collection of pictures by Vincent Ferrane of his wife and child in the intimate wilderness that is the act of breastfeeding.
This video made me laugh particularly because I have a weird feeling this will be my child. She is like this already but without the language. One commenter said, “If you haven’t met that kid you are that kid” hee hee
This new song and spunky lyric video by the effervescent Sammy Rae and the Friends. A delightfully charming band I stumbled on a few years ago whose jaunty sound brings my body to dancing.
Eats
I have been cooking a lot lately. I suppose, in a sense, I did not realise that having a human child meant that from now until the end of time I will need to provide nourishment for another person besides myself and my husband. Multiple times a day. Much as I love breastfeeding she does need non-milk food and this little exploring machine has an appetite for all things scrumptious. I think the most challenging meal to think of interesting and non-repetitive foods is breakfast. For some reason I have internalised a belief that my child cannot eat the same food for multiple meals in any given week or she will become…nutrient deprived? picky? starved? bored? SO I decided to change up breakfast and made us basically cake to eat that is on brand for the season. Am I embracing the basic bitch fall vibes here? Yes I am. Pumpkin and chocolate chips are best belly friends for me.
Nourishing Pumpkin Baked Oatmeal from Hummusapien who usually has some good non-meat offerings for those of us who abstain.
Taking food photos is not my gifting or at least not in my kitchen which is decidedly non-aesthetic with it’s fluorescent, ice-cold over head lighting that feels like I am being taken in for questioning at the local police station.
Paired this recipe with her Healthy Cream Cheese Frosting which I basically made in like three minutes and just have been eating right out of the bowl by the spoonful so there’s that for how good it is. ***
***One thing to note. I enjoy the recipes on this website but she does pretty much always use the words ‘healthy’ and ‘clean’ in her titles or descriptions of ingredients. I do not ascribe personally to this ideology around food having moralistic value and certain food items being considered ‘healthful’. Nor do I enjoy when people who write recipes overstate how something being ‘low sugar’ is better for you, or over-emphasises food swaps or randomly adding like veggies into cakes. I just liked that I could make this frosting with what I had in my fridge because I never have icing sugar on hand. Just to give ye a heads up when you head over to those recipes. I had to train my brain to not be triggered and that is not the approach I take with food. Thank you and goodnight.
This is literally my doofus dogs.
Okayyyyy byyyye
Yoohoo big summer blowout
Careful now because I am about to make ye shit yer pants. It is September on Sunday (tomorrow). Repeat. SEPTEMBER. In four months it will be 2025 my god I am….aghast. SOMEBODY fetch me my fainting couch.
How did we get here? I have been living in America a D E C A D E next year. I am extinct. This whole thing about time being perceived at an accelerating rate as you age makes sense until you spend one full day alone with a toddler and realise that every second is 100 years of solitude and one never-ending story only the dragon is a human child and she has opinions…..JUST KIDDING I love my life.
Since we are entering Autumn, back-to-school season is upon us and it’s Pumpkin Spice World all over again I have been trying to walk into September with an eye turned towards renewal. Following the seasons and cyclical nature of the life-death-life-death rhythm of the natural world means that this point in time is a stepping towards turning in, warmth, hibernating, and re-assessing the crunchy, sunburnt, youthful exuberance of the summer self. Buckle up loves it’s gonna be a good season.
Reads
Confession, I haven’t been doing a whole bunch of reading lately. Honestly, I ploughed through my Goodreads challenge in May/June and then these past two months have been really hard with experiencing toddlerhood awakening in my home and all the life developments. Just a bunch of rolling stones of stress coming down and crushing me from every angle leaving me a flat pancake person. At the end of each day, I just cannot continue humaning, my eyes will not co-operate to remain awake while reading words and I zone out.
I did, however, read this one fascinating article. I would say this is a conversation starter for sure, for those of you who have people who you can have discourse with who won’t respond with offense or defense if you hold an alternative or contrasting view to them.
Why We’re Turning Psychiatric Labels Into Identities by Manvir Singh, The New Yorker
I would greatly appreciate if any of you readers have any thoughts on the article for you to share them with me. It’s long, to warn you, but an extremely vital component of living in today’s world that we ought to be discussing and questioning at length. This culture of diagnosis has become bound up with politics, social status, identity, and mental health among many other layers of being. It has affected entire generations’ ability to build community and interpersonal connections across different age groups, ethnicities, economic strata. There is a lot to really gnash on in our minds about the consequence of the rise of self- and tiktok-diagnosis of mental illness (same also for neurodivergent conditions) in an almost fetishing way that creates such intensely consequential social rules between the person and the world around them. Where does this leave us?
Bants
Truly I have become besotted with a brilliant mind who I believe could very well be my best friend in an alternate timeline, and that is the witty and gifted Amanda Montell. Find her website Here and obsessively read/listen to everything she has done. She is a linguist, author, and social connoisseur of basically the entirety of the nonsense going on in my head all the time. She might just be the millennial queen. M’lady has a podcast called Magical Overthinkers that my daughter and I have been listening to every day to start our day because it helps me feel like I have friends over for coffee and breakfast each morning. (Fellow parents who spend the majority of your time with tiny humans you will get this need to have sane, grown-up voices in your day-to-day). I wrote a little mini-essay on the Paradox of Productivity. Look at me being oh-so productive with my blog this week.
adjusts tie smugly
If you are interested in doing some further mind-scrumbling on where the whole production-equals-self and self-is-worthless-unless-producing within globally defined parameters leads us, then have a wee auditory peek at one of Madam Montell’s podcasts I listened to this week. It set me to thinking so it did.
I feel like this section needs a nice weekly roundup of some fun reels, memes, and ‘online comedic short bits to make you giggle and/or feel seen and part of the greater collective human experience’. I have relationships in my life where we communicate purely in these little pieces of internet pie and those friends well we are on solid ground. So in an effort to validate why I am still not permanently off Instagram despite my many promises to do it, I am gonna share some good good content.
Eats
Everything But The Kitchen Sink Salad Dressing
Like the name? eh? Stoles it from Trader Joes so’s I did. Here’s a recipe of my own concoction and it was divinnnnnne spread upon anything that takes your fancy. ‘Salad dressing’ is such a sad term. Sounds a bit like them sad office worker boys who bring their little sad lettuce lunch to work with the dressing in a packet on the side and they squirt it all on there and close the lid and shake that thing like it’s a goddamn cocktail mixer. You know its just limp dick lettuce and oily vinagrette with maybe two cherry tomatoes and some favourless onion. This dressing will uplevel any sad salad.
Ok let me see if I can remember my ratios. Honestly I eyeballed it and used produce in my fridge that was less than alive but I figured sure I am blending it into a liquid so it’s probably alright.
Two giant fistfuls of spinach
Two giant fistfuls of arugula/rocket—> very important for more flavour
One bunch of roughly chopped parsley
One bunch of roughly chopped cilantro/coriander
Half an avocado
Pinch of salt
Eyeball how much garlic you like I use pre-minced garlic so just kinda spoonful out a dollop. (I KNOW I KNOW I AM THE WORST it’s convenient and cheap and I just do not have time to mince my own garlic brah considering how much we use….get all the way off my back ok cooking purists :P)
About 3/4-1 cup of greek yoghurt (full fat, none of this % fat shit that stuff is too watery). Again this is like your liquid part so if your blender is struggle bussing it then just dollop in some more.
Ground black pepper. Eyeball that shizz you know how much you like.
And let me think oh yes lemon juice. Hmm this is again one of those cooking senses that tells you how much you need. Basically you want to balance your acidity. So I start with a tablespoon to two maybe then blend to taste and add more if needed.
Blend until smooth. Jar her up and store in le fridge for 5-7 days.
I blended mine in two batches because I didn't want to destroy my blender. Look how yummy and sexy she is. Looks like a smoothie almost.
Ok, I have one more two-parter recipe for you because ooooh me oh my was she tasty and so easy and my baby gobbled up all the spicy fish which makes me happy.
I got this recipe off of my go to Pinch of Yum. I wasn’t sure how I would feel about doing a pulled salmon style taco but it was sweet and tangy and a little spicy. Mango and salmon are a rockstar pairing.
We added refried beans to ours because yum hello delicious and just gives it a little jujjjz (how do I spell this noise?) juuush? ANYway, it is made with coconut oil comes canned from Costco I will link it here for you American readers. Really good, affordable option for adding more protein into your diet that is not meat. Also had lots of corn salsa leftover for quinoa wraps the next day. So that’s a win.
Best value Costco Refried Beans-8 pack
Are ya ready kids for autumn? AY AY captain…
Other people make better things than me always
YOOHOO it’s time to usher back in my favourite little weekly dogpile of doodoo goodness that I find from trawling much better people’s work’than I (gaaaah the terrible writing I can’t but I will( and compiling them for ye all to enjoy. I do this so you will think I am super de dooper clever cause I brought this list together even though I did very little work except idly waste time reading online. In light of my recent, very stressful move to a new state I am quite unsettled from my regular routine and so have been not so good at being myself lately but here for you I try, dear readers.
Reads
So this I suppose could be construed as somewhat….macabre. I am coming to a slow realization that I may not be a world changer, and in my endless, zombie like shuffling (that is unceasing in it’s lack of destination) towards this belief of my own superiority, I have become someone who is so utterly blindly devoted to this concept of being exceptional that I constantly hold myself back from just….being. It’s a difficult road I am on right now, the one of figuring out what the fuck to do with my life while balancing bills, moving, mom-ing, and just keeping on through all the muck and shite. I have found thinking I am somewhat deserving of more does not often help; not that I don’t deserve the life I want but keeping myself in a state of ‘what if’ does not move me into a place of a peaceful heart and causes me to resent my present. So I am trying to rewire my perspective. This was a sweet little post I found that felt immediate and swift in it’s celebration in being ok with the smallness of one’s life. I expect to illicit some eye rolling with this, it’s something I wish to explore further in my writing but I am utterly spent trying to succeed and this just felt like a release.
Over the last few weeks we had my baby brother visiting with us (YAY FAMILY TIME). Sadly, he just returned to the old country (BOOO) and I miss him. While he was here we frequented our local Barnes & Nobles super mega giant bookstore a number of times. ‘Tis a paradisal place for those of us who cannot afford to buy books let alone at MSRP but that’s ok because there is much pretty things to look at. I noticed they had a lovely display dedicated to The Moomins, which my deprived husband has never heard of, and it led me down a path of delightful reading about Tove Jansson who created the Moomins. Lo and behold, this morning I get my biweekly Marginalian newsletter with a small piece about Jansson, and some of her other amazing writings. Feels…serendipitous. As I am going wading in the wilds of weird in my life right now I really need some of Jansson’s wisdoms. Time for a refresh I think.
Bants
Is it me or does it feel like America will just not stop being so dramatic about everything all the time right? So let’s take a little gander at some items that are not centralized on the current election cycle and instead look at the ways in which we obsess over random crap at all times. Basically we are all the same and it’s about time we copped onto that fact. Here are two sweet videos I enjoyed a wee giggle over this past week.
Segundo,
I just learned how to embed a video into my website page (I think it’s like implanting in the same way an egg-sperm guy implants in the uterus :D). So I will be sharing many many many probably but they will not even likely be on trend anymore because I am in my thirties. As my sister rightly pointed out we are not the instant TikTok generation baddies we are the ‘see the video 28 days or weeks or months later on reels or YouTube or on the news of all places’ generation. I laughed super hard at this. Silly but good.
Eats
OK hi hello I found an AMAZING new website, known as Budget Bytes , that features excellent, delicious recipes and breaks them down by cost per recipe and ooooh weeeeh this little budgeting bitch right here is IN HEAVEN. Listen, in today’s economy everything is expensive and unbearably inaccessible and how can we even human with the cost of living right now amiright? So to have someone delivering lovely, yummy and affordable recipes into my inbox has brought me delight on another level I cannot even describe. I basically wish I had conceived of this idea myself and done this for my people but I have no clout and it takes so much pressure off for me as I panic grocery shop each week so I am grateful for it’s existence. Recently I made an UHH-mazing risotto for my husband and little (vegetarian) brother who is visiting with us and it was inhaled at a beyond rapid pace, like I literally think nobody surfaced for air. AM I PROUD?…yes yes I am. Note to y’all, I did make some (store bought) naan on the side because every dinner is always elevated by the presence of bread, and seriously it was so affordable and so delicious so please please make. Here you go my darlings (also here is my terrible, decidedly un-aesthetic photo of the deliciousness I cannot).
I did not take a photo of the end result because I ate it so fast.
This season has been…a challenge. As they all are in their own way. So glad to do life with you lovelies in even this small way. Till next week. xoxox gossip girl ;)
Fervently reading, bantering and nom noms
I really should have called the foodie portion of my site nom noms now that I think of it because often it is fun things I want to eat or desire to cook but cannot due to time and/or financial constraints or just being plain lazy. So in essence I nom and nash and natter on these food things but don’t necessarily eat.
Anyhoosers, here is a very interesting fact I just learned. The femur (thigh) bone is tougher than concrete and yet, completely hollow. Isn’t that wild? If you are anything like me right at this moment I hope you are smacking full force on your leg to attempt to ascertain just how tough that big ole bone really is. Try not to bruise yourselves dears. Sometimes I forget what an incredible thing my human body is; I am so often full of criticism for myself and my lack that I fail to recognise this absolutely amazing fine tuned machine made of liquids, fleshy squish, self-purifying organs and a galaxy of emotions and thoughts. Let’s all take a moment and just bring awareness into the sheer physicality of our bodies. It’s challenging isn’t it? To sit inside our body and locate the interior space. With all the noise of life going on right now it feels good to take a few breaths to re-introduce your head and your heart selves. I hope that gives a nice, warm boost to your moment.
So on to the good recommendations for the week.
READS
1.) RIP to the man who beat the efficient market hypothesis by Erik Hoel
My husband is one of those mathematical persons of a scientific nature with a zeal for logic and reasoning and things that make my brain go screensaver if I don’t focus really really hard on them. It’s been a good thing for my mind, over the past near decade of relationship, to be in constant engagement with a brain that is different than mine. Even though sometimes (often) it pisses me off. Like many who are wired with less strength in the whole numbers arena I think of people who master these fields as godlike. I enjoyed this random read which took an obituary style approach to sharing some big brained maths thingies that I didn’t quite track although I did read it three times over to see if I could hold the slippery concept in my wet noodle brain arms.
2.) If you are feeling a little down about being a person in a world of persons harming and doing bad things then this sweet little letter is for you. E.B. White’s Beautiful Letter to a Man Who Had Lost Faith in Humanity. I especially like the line, “And wind the clock, for tomorrow is another day.” This is something of a mantra for me when I find myself in a moment of panic and overwhelm.
BANTS
I just added a new film to my watchlist on Amazon-The Idea of You with Anne Hathaway and some young dude who kind of looks like Pete Davidson. I don’t get the opportunity to watch a lot of TV these days. This film I started three days ago and have watched 45 minutes here and there over the last few days as I have found a spare moment. I had been seeing a lot of memes floating around of this one and listen I love love love romantic comedies. I feel like they are having a kind of resurgent moment? Maybe we should check with Gen Z they will tell us what the hot take cultural zeitgeists are. Anyways it’s quite lovely and also very sexy out of nowhere so heads up if you are playing it on a Bluetooth speaker and have other people living in your home. They may think you are watching dirty shite. “No, I am NOT watching porn!” SLAMS COMPUTER CLOSED
Is it predictable? Yes, do I already know how it’s going to end? Absofruitly. But isn’t that the sweet point of the good ole romcom? Blissful, willful ignorance and wishful thinking :D
Fav line of the film: “That’s Hayes Campbell from August Moon where have you been?” “Being in my thirties, obviously.” Oh how delicious I feel so seen.
Let’s talk about America right now. How are you sweets? Still going to war on the interwebs over culture? Seems like yet another day yet another reckoning with the nonsense of some young, ‘too famous too quickly’ egotistical athlete man boy. One who has too much clout for his own good and not enough common sense to realise what to say and what not to say in a public forum which inevitably will find it’s way onto our embodied online social world. If you don’t know what I am talking about here is the video of this fella who kicks a ball for a living and is overpaid for it-Harrison Butker- who dismissed and demeaned a crowd of women during their college graduation by reducing their futures down to a binary stereotype.
Must be nice to be so essential to society that you have the last word on what fulfills a woman. Is he Mel Gibson in What Women Want? Someone get me this dude on the phone because please I would love for him to divine the path to true happiness for me as a lady! Because I for sure want my lift to start and much like his wife’s I suppose it won’t till I accept my vocation-as a homemaker. Honestly the true anger for me is not only in what he said, I do believe that the choice to work in mothering is a valid and valuable choice, it’s the fact that he thought he had any right to say it. Also that he said the choice to work in a job is less fulfilling. What a privilege it is in this economy to choose to have a parent stay home with a child. How nice his wife can do that on his income. Most of us can’t or, and here’s the kicker (heh heh), we don’t want to. Does the guy deserve to get cancelled? I don’t believe so, he shouldn’t lose his job over this. I have worked with many people who have said similar (or worse) things (restaurant industry culture amiright?) and they continue to be employed. Then again it’s likely something that will be decided by the Court of Public Opinion.
Here is the journalist Maria Shriver’s response which was interesting.
EATS
Ooh do I have a yummy, and cheap, favourite meal that’s been on repeat in our house for you. My zeal for cooking has flattened a little as we have been packing up our belongings and I am wrecked with tiredness come the end of the evening so this is a quick and easy (oh God I’m gonna have to admit to this amn’t I?) air fryer meal for those parents who just can’t. Two notes; I apologise profusely for joining the cult of the air fryer, I held out for so so long but oh man is she handy as all get out and I urge everyone strongly to consider both the time and energy savings these babies will incur for you. Secondement, the first day of making this dish you have to do an eensy bit more work because you have to prep the sauce but then you have a lovely jar of sauce that will last you a good week to pull from so that’s nice.
Ok here is the recipe. Ridiculously Good Air Fryer Tofu. I usually serve this up with some white rice, some chopped green onions that are (often) decaying in my fridge somewhere and I buy a mega pack of frozen edamame from Costco that is super super cheap and cooks in five minutes boiling water on the stove and boom. Delicious. In terms of the ‘spice blend’ I just do a fuck it and dump of whatever random spices I think will go well together. Also this is the Peanut Sauce I make regularly. You don’t even need a full blender I use a mini chopper thing I got for five dollars at goodwill and it does the job. You could also probably mix it by hand, vigorously.
See ye next week, she says with vigour.
Hallo sweet May
By the time you read this my friends, May will be underway. I always love a new month for the opportunity to reset and reflect on what has been and cast an eye forward to what is coming up. Usually I use it as a time to figure out what worked and didn't in my daily life and to refine my routines. It’s a forever process I think, there is no end goal really or prize for really succeeding at my daily personal To Do list but it feels like I ever so slowly chip away at the large lump of flawed rock I am made from to uncover a little more of the sculpture of me.
Pardon the random allegory, in this long-ass book I am reading the main character is the son of a granite business owner and so I am knee deep in some shite about quarries and whatnot.
In the Irish language, May is Bealtaine. For us it marks the beginning of Summer. My sister informed me today it was pissing rain and cold as balls at home. Sounds about right for the start of a grand ole Irish summer.
Reads
I am writing this on the first of May. A celebration of Spring it is referred to as May Day in a lot of Europe, here in Hawaii it is called Lei Day. It’s a day honouring the beautiful spirit of ‘aloha’ by giving and receiving Lei and acknowledging the rich, cultural history of the Hawaiian people on the islands. Here is a link to the history of Lei Day, which feels like a beautiful ushering in of a new season of life, a celebration of the natural world and the sharing of gratitude and warmth from person to person. I also read this really interesting article from National Geographic, Hawaii’s Lei Day is about so much more than flowers, which addresses a more nuanced and honest look at the origin of Lei Day and it’s roots in non-native influence on the islands.
Our little human has well been on the foods-other-than-breastmilk train for quite a few months. We started gently when she was four months old and since then have experimented and failed and learned and enjoyed figuring out how to feed a human other than ourselves. When Babies Rule the Dinner Table by Alexandra Schwartz, The New Yorker was a funny read. I liked her summation of the baby-led weaning approach which encourages you to be led by your imagination and stop getting so caught up in rules, restrictions and propriety. In all honesty we took a more open approach to eating with our baby not for any moralistic reasons or to stake a flag in the ever ongoing parenting battleground of ‘whose way is best’. Mainly we did it because we both work full time and we can’t be arsed buying her food we don’t eat ourselves. Best to just get her in on the family meal bandwagon as early as possible. Plus it’s funny watching her barely eat anything, get absolutely filthy at each meal and not so sneakily feed our giant dogs her food from the side of her high chair while she giggles. It’s all a laugh really. My baby is a chonky potato so I am not concerned with regards to her intake. It doesn’t really matter what method you might choose for your family, just as long as you choose what’s right for you. I am all about aligning with what serves us and our loved ones best.
“Navigating the judgment of others has always been a part of parenting, but the Internet has taken that annoyance and made it a scourge. There is always someone in the comments of a post bragging or berating, telling you that because you’re doing it differently, you’re doing it wrong. ”
Bants
I recently discovered a new podcast and WHAT A HOOT IT IS. My husband did not connect with it in the same way I did, I blame it on cultural humour differences. There is like ten zillion episodes so I am just starting at the beginning but being a comedy podcast I don’t think it matters where you dive in. ‘Tis but a simple conversation between a daft and hilarious couple, Chris and Rosie Ramsey, who both have backgrounds in comedy and radio just inanely chatting about life, marital beef, child-rearing etc. Listen wherever you get your podcasts, I use apple podcasts so I will link to the show there.
Sh**ged Married Annoyed Chris & Rosie Ramsey
Eats
At work the other night I was talking about how much I would enjoy cooking if only I didn't have to work nights and she inquired as to whether I had a specialty or ‘go to’. I must admit I was struck by the fact that my brain completely emptied at the question. Do I have a go to? I suddenly began to spiral, doubting even my own assertion that I liked to cook. I am so unused to people asking me direct questions about myself, in the US I learned a long time ago that most people only want to talk about themselves so you can curry favour by turning any question they ask you around back to them. After all that’s really what they wanted in the first place. So when she asked me such a personal question I could not even comprehend how to begin answering. My main takeaway from this entire interaction was a.) I actually do not know how to cook and I am an imposter and b.) I am an anxious over thinker who really needs to just calm the fuck down. If any of you readers feel so inclined I would love to hear your fav, easy enough to make meals. I am not going to steal credit for coming up with nearly anything I make. I am an avid collector of cookbooks and peruser of Pinterest recipes and this is one of my all time, affordable, favourite easy summer dishes. Can be eaten alone or add a protein if you wish for a fuller meal.
Corn, Avocado, and Quinoa Salad with Marinated Tomatoes
For your informationals readers, I NEVER use fresh corn! God that’s way to much work no I am 100% a canned corn all the way freak. It tastes exactly the same lads.
Also I highly recommend subscribing to Pinch of Yum’s website, I get almost all of my recipes there. She shares so many meals with flexibility for every diet and for the most part her recipes use commonplace ingredients you likely already have banging about in your fridge or pantry and are all very accessible cost wise.
See you all next week!
April showers bring relief to these overcooked humans
Hi lovelies I think I perhaps missed a week of the ever fun-fun writing of my weekly recommendations for being a human trying to exist in the world catching glimmers and making space for ourselves in the small, sweet ways. As you may notice the look of the site changed a little bit. I updated my Squarespace to their new (oh I don’t know the word) edition? software? site blueprint? who knows but anyways it made everything higgledy piggledy looking and I have spent the better part of many days trying to make it look good and be readable and still maintain my overall ‘aesthetic’ (VOMIT at myself using that used and abused on-trend word).
Let me know what you think! Do you like this yummy sage-y, olive-y earth tone-y look? Is it annoying to read cream lettering? I kind of like it, it makes me feel a softness in my mind’s eye. However, I really want this to be a collaborative project so I am happy to always hear feedback.
April is ending! My oh my it’s been a MONTH. Although isn’t every month ‘a month’ to be honest. Adulting seems to be endlessly saying over and over “I just have to get through this day, week, month, season and then things will finally calm down.” Yet, they never do :D Perhaps things don’t change but I am trying to appreciate how we change, and rise up, to meet the ongoing challenges of life. Anyways read on ahead dear ones to see what things have been catching my eye these past two weeks.
READS
Ok for some reason I have chosen to read the most painfully laborious book ever and yet, I don’t want to quit it. I don’t know why it’s one of those reads where I think just a couple more pages THEN surely I will see why it’s one of BBC’s 100 Books to Read Before You Die. GAH probably that’s why I am determined to finish it. We shall see what happens.
So in the spirit of avoiding reading this snoozefest of a book that I have to return to the library in four days, here are a few short pieces I have enjoyed recently.
I had to share this delightful little midweek pick-me-up piece from my forever favourite.
Your Body Is a Space That Sees: Artist Lia Halloran’s Stunning Cyanotype Tribute to Women in Astronomy by Maria Popova, The Marginalian.
I really appreciate that these essays written by Popova always seem to pull at a few different strings of my own personal interests. She usually hits it off with little bit of art to look at and feel deep feelings, a wiggle of music, a pizzazz of brilliantly worded writing reflecting on consciousness or technology, maybe some extra links sprinkled in of YouTube videos that address the psychology of being or scienceand bam she has a lovely, unique, readable piece. It’s all very cohesive and holistic and intersection-y. I find a lot of inspiration there. OB-viously I am not as erudite in my wordsmithery.Of course I would be remiss as to mention that Taylor Swift’s new album-The Tortured Poets Department is out this week. It’s a significant moment and I would be interested in really doing a deep dive into this particular release maybe the good, bad and ugly. One might wonder if the Swift bubble is moving towards and inevitable pop? Whatever your feelings on her this was a nice little Vox piece that brings up the question of whether we can criticize something or someone and have it be personally-or politically-neutral? Or have we so flattened culture that we can’t even begin a discourse on standard and expectation without other people feeling provoked and defensive?
It’s impossible to be neutral about Taylor Swift by Alex Abad-Santos, VoxOk ok I will share one more read here because honestly the content be out here CONTINENTANING! heh heh Seriously though, there is an ocean of things to read online and not nearly enough time to read it all. Whatever your personal opinions are about alcohol and drinking culture, this article is a striking read for it’s conversation around the efficacy of replacing alcohol with other mind altering substances as a means of social stimulation, personal relaxation and pleasure.
The endless quest to replace alcohol by Rebecca Jennings, Vox
BANTS
“Discomfort is not always the same thing as disease.”
Now that I am a mother type being (my child is 9 months old when do I actually feel like a parent?) I have to, of course, bring everything in my conversation and dynamic with others back to the central focus of my life-parenting. Even as I feel their eyes roll back into their heads with boredom and that feral energy of one who will gnaw their leg off to free themselves from the trap of social convention wafts from their sweaty body, I can’t help but show them 10,000 shaky videos of my baby almost standing or picking up a cheerio. As I corner them with my phone shoved in their face I tearfully wail about her “being a big girl now” and internally all I can wonder is who is this feeling mess I have become? Feels like it is a right of passage or something. This concept of ‘Matrescence’ being a form of physiological and psychological change similar to that of adolescence is one that feels rooted in truth for what I have felt within myself. The short TED video below acknowledges this great shift within that occurs in motherhood and honours the nuance of figuring out how to reconcile oneself to a new lived reality.
A new way to think about the transition to motherhood
EATS
Unfortunately I do not have any good recipes to share with you this week. I have not cooked much recently as I have been working a lot and running a fair bit. Groceries are reaching peak prices where I am buying as little as possible in order to make do. Mostly I spend my money on food for my child and that’s what I usually am cooking when I get a chance. Watch this space though and hopefully I will have some scrummy fun things to share next week.
I find I really struggle with time management these days. My little shark tooth bebe requires a lot of watching as she super speed crawls around my house. If any of you have any tips or tricks for 1.) combating overwhelm with tasks and 2.) actually getting the shit you enjoy doing done then please pass them along down below. Ta ta for now!
Weekend wanderings on the interwebs
I read something yesterday that an ‘influencer-ish’ type person who I have followed for years wrote about trying to lean back into the contentedness of her life and not just chasing the happiness. I really appreciated the distinction between the two. So much of the world sets itself up as a means to engender/sell happy or, in other words, to tell us that we are to avoid more complex emotions, that uncomfortable feelings are wrong and should be changed. It feels like we are all just chaotically buying into some ideology of a ‘good life’ as dictated by the current socio-cultural trends mostly revolving around consumerism and social media. I hate it; I feel so needlessly anxious in all of it. We are deeply dissatisfied because we can’t figure out how to embody the ‘aesthetic’ of a meaningful life instead of doing the work within us to find out that what is meaningful to us as individuals can’t be packaged up so simply within the homogeneity of the toxic positivity sphere. Contentedness is not pretending you are happy when you are struggling, just going out and buying things or scrolling online to get an endorphin boost. There surely must be more; I am not sure yet what being content fully looks like for myself, but I am stepping onto a path of figuring that out, I hope.
Reads
Conspiracy, monetisation and weirdness: this is why social media has become ungovernable by Nesrine Malik, The Guardian. This article I found really aligned with the way I have been thinking a lot about currency of the self and the exhaustion of trying to be whole, happy, healthy, momfluenced, creative, productive, financially successful, pursue passive income, a homemaker…blah blah. You could insert any number of identity boxes the world is pushing on us as a means of keeping us in a state of constant lack and chronic consumption, I fully believe we are suffering from chronic MUCHness.
“The result is that increasingly, you have less control over what you see. And the less control you have, the more these platforms become a jostling market of attention-seeking and selling. ”
Currently at the stage of life I am in, making time to make art how I want to is not feasible. I don’t have hours of free time to paint and draw so I have turned to writing as a swift means of getting my creative juices flowing. I read this lovely interview conducted by a writer I enjoy-Maggie Smith-who loves to investigate into the roots and fruit of creativity in our lives. Enjoy the interview here, Interview with an Artist: Helena Wurzel, and I am attaching the website for Helena Wurzel so you can leisurely look through the delicious visuals of her lovely paintings all of which I wish could adorn my bare ass white walls of lifelessness in my overpriced rental bunker with.
Bants
April has arrived. I listened to a banger of a song this morning with my teacup human, and it just lifted my spirits that have been feeling so low lately. A lot was weird and uncomfortable about pop culture in the 2000’s. I would say it was not the coolest decade or so, we did many awkward things (miniskirts over jeans…why?) and worshiped just pure shite to be honest (I’m looking at you trashy gossip mags with your celebrity bullying and eating disorder propaganda nonsense). You know who was great though, Natasha Bedingfield. I know she was classic girly pop tween bubble music or whatever, but her song writing was solid, ESPECIALLY the song I Wanna Have Your Babies now that is a hit :P As is the trend with the passing of the torch of the generation of the moment, her song Unwritten has swung back around into popularity with Gen Z and I love it, it’s so wholesome it’s so unifying. I just read that this song has gone back to the top of the charts because of a popular romcom and the return of the romcom is something I am also here for. This song came out TWENTY YEARS AGO, ooof do I feel my age. I recommend you play this video at full volume and get right down into your body in all its glory, embrace your silly self in all your uniqueness, be grateful for your aliveness, reflect on your story and just have a wee giggle. As you watch the music video laugh in remembrance of the yummyness of the noughties trends-the dressy waistcoat paired with the grungy, flowy pedal pushers, the brazenly bared bellybutton decorated with bulky belts and bangles, the major gospel choir vibes. It is a joy.
Here is Bedingfield herself sharing on her Instagram some of the darling Gen Z ticktock moments that just kind of makes me a little happy. I want this next generation of young girls to be free of the torments of an uncaring world that profits from women being made small.
The 2000’s-when Jane Norman was considered haute couture to working class folks. Notice how focused I am on sucking in my belly. So glad I have a mom pooch now and do not do the tummy suck ANYMORE. Hopefully my sister does not destroy our friendship for me sharing this photo. It’s too priceless.
Eats
Alright I am going to share a sweet little recipe here that I found online. You can make this yummy dish without chai, perhaps I will get some to make with this. It’s expensive here though so to keep cost down I most likely will make without. Absofruitly I will be making cream cheese frosting I am not a madwoman. Husband and I eat sweet cake loaf things very quickly, these do not last in our house.
Love you all so very much thanks for lifting my spirits by making me feel as if I am not just shouting into the void.