Review and Reflect
The month is drawing to a close and it is time for a little oogie boogie R + R as I like to call it.
A regular practice of mine I have been undertaking somewhat on and off for about 7 ish years now is my monthly reflection and review. Honestly, you would be hard-pressed to find an online blogger, writer, or creative of any kind who doesn’t engage in this activity in some small manner. It’s merely just taking a short time out of your day and dedicating it to reflecting on the month that is closing and reviewing what is in store in the month coming. It’s very cyclical and all that jazz. I guess to me it’s relaxing and restful because this type of work is purely for my peace of mind and to feel purposeful with my time, and that feels good. I suppose one might call them ‘mini resolutions’ or ‘habitual activities’. I like to think of it more as a guided walk back through the forest of your memory and choosing to plant and water new growth. You then tend to it for a time before turning elsewhere. Always with the opportunity to come back and see how the self has grown and shaped your lived experience.
The process by which I conduct this activity has been refined over the years and sometimes it’s been abandoned entirely when life just made it too challenging to spend time in deep thinking mode and I needed a brain break. For example in the last trimester of my pregnancy, now that was the pits. I didn’t do much reflection then, I didn’t do much of anything except go to work, have carpal tunnel, and eat pop tarts. I got a cute little pixie pokemon creature out of it though so that’s a nice win.
Often we set resolutions or goals for ourselves in January. There are mostly lofty ones and ones that are more about changing our activity or achieving a goal to get a measurable, observable result. They do not set us up for long-term success or habit formation and leave us feeling like failures or like we haven’t budged or grown or done the damn thing. For me, at the beginning of each month taking an hour to answer some questions about the story I have been weaving and set a short list of personal intentions for the next month (with no restrictions as to how big or small they have to be) has helped direct me to live more in my present and not lose my sense of self to all that rat race human, loud noise, chaos time stuff. You know what I mean…the everything that is hard and makes us feel less than, or conversely too much.
I like to make a spot of tea, caffeinated for me, le exhausted toddler-baby mama that I am, but a lovely cup of herbal will do just fine. I also find some sugary goodness whether that be a nice bit of chocolate or some baked good of some sort. Just some comfort food that helps the brain relax into a more happy mood. I crack out my nice pens, some cute markers or highlighters, and my specific notebook I have used for this task and this task only and I get to thinking and writing. You can take what works and chuck the rest and if it doesn’t work for you then that is totally ok. This is more about finding out how to direct your life in a way that feels focused, healthful, joyful, and calming. No stress, no expectation.
On page 1:
October Review
What’s the most valuable lesson I have learned this month?
What is something I need to make more time for?
Moving into November, how will I take care of myself? What are some actionable steps I can take to ensure I prioritise my mental/physical wellbeing?
Who do I consider my support system and why?
If I get stuck what’s one thing I will remember?
What do I need a.) more of and b.) less of?
What’s something I am most proud of this month?
What’s something I am most looking forward to next month?
Three important goals for November (this can be administrative, hobby or work-related, mind/body goals….it’s very much just an exercise to see how you can engage your future thinking)
What is a boundary I will set and stick with?
How did I finish out the last day of the month?
On page 2:
This is an example of an intention page I did back in April.
I’m gonna write a mini sample here below to give you an idea of how loose these can be and how they can be about focusing on however many things you deem to be most important for you in this particular month to achieve. Each week I tend to choose three main things I have to ‘get done’ by the end of the week as a focused task but this section here is more overarching. I also usually include a quote to guide my energy for the month.
Rituals/Intentions/To-Do’s for November
Renew driver’s licence and register car
Write four blog posts this month
Deep clean oven and air fryer
Run turkey trot on Thanksgiving
Find time to spend one afternoon by myself doing something I used to love
Shower more (this is a big one for me, I have trouble allowing myself the space to take a shower which is quite healing for me. Something about denying myself a basic human need because I believe I have to earn it? Don’t know what that’s about :P )
No screen time after 9pm on weekdays
Quote for the month: “You can always edit a bad page. You can't edit a blank page.” - Jodi Picoult
Now there are so many ways to make this practice more structured, I have seen people on substack making this like a subscriber hangout type activity with guided times for planning/strategising and thematic writing. I can see that being helpful, and maybe in the future, I could host something like that. Right now though this easy, self-guided thing works for where I am at because it feels comforting and comfortable.
**A little note with regard to my rituals/intentions. These are guidelines for myself, maybe think of them as akin to those mini fancy lamps wealthy people will stake in the ground along their garden path for light so you don’t stumble. They are not hard and fast commitments that I will stress about if I don’t manage to dominate and succeed. They are simply something to come back to when I am trying to focus my way out of a state of anxious overwhelm because I feel like I am not doing what I need to do but I can’t even remember what I need or want in that moment. They are aspirational and helpful and if I find they start to become unhelpful or not fun I will just move them to next week or abandon the idea altogether. I am trying to think of this as more like a playful activity that helps me figure out who I am not the actions I want to do or the results I want to achieve. Does that make sense?
Let me know how you get on.
xoxo
anxious control-issue girl